Here’s a fun tidbit about me. My good friend’s mother has a wedding planning business. When I was in graduate school, as a fun little side gig, I worked as her assistant for several weddings.
Who doesn’t enjoy a celebration of love?
Through this experience, I learned something important. Weddings range immeasurably when it comes to size, venue, aesthetic, and, therefore, dress code.
I’ve seen white-tie affairs and flip-flop-friendly shindigs.
What was once an easy event to dress for has become tricky. No worries. I’m here to make it easy for you all over again. Here’s everything you need to know.
Smart Casual Weddings
What does smart casual even mean? Truly, it depends on context.
For example, an untucked dress shirt, slacks, and loafers could be considered smart casual at a networking event. However, they might be relaxed enough for casual Fridays in a traditional office setting.
Meanwhile, a full suit sans tie can be smart casual, business casual, or even cocktail. There’s a lot of confusing overlap, I know. Even more, this confusing range of dress is the most common for weddings these days.
Not the Groom? You Should Still Consider What the Groom is Wearing
Just as a lady guest shouldn’t wear white (unless it’s the theme) to her friends’ nuptials, you don’t want to outdress the groom. The only men allowed to, maybe, outdress him are the father of the bride or his own father.
If he’s in a tieless button-up, dress pants, and dress shoes, you should follow suit. Or, go less dressy, in a respectful way. It’s still a celebration, after all. In this case, you might go for a button-down, slacks, and leather loafers.
If he’s in a full suit, you should go for one as well. But don’t go for a highly formal business suit decked out with gold cufflinks, a gold tie-clip, and a black silk tie. Since we’re still in the smart casual realm, you might be able to go for a broken suit with a tie or without.
And at the end of the day, you can always consult with the hosts. If you’re not that close to them or don’t want to bother them because they seem particularly busy, consult with someone close to them.
Multi-Event Weddings: Smart Casual vs Cocktail
The difference between smart casual, semi-formal, and cocktail is most important when there are multiple events.
If there’s a day-time champagne brunch with a semi-formal dress code and a reception in the evening with a cocktail dress code, you’ll pick your more formal outfit for the reception. Cocktail is dressier than semi-formal because, well, we tend to drink cocktails in the evening. Moreover, evening events are usually more formal, hence the term “eveningwear.”
So perhaps you go for a dressier version of smart casual at the semi-formal. As an example, you may wear a dress shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. Then, at the cocktail, you’ll throw on a jacket. Or you can just go for a full tieless suit during the day and then throw that tie on in the evening.
Go for a Broken Suit
I love a full broken suit. It’s usually a pretty safe bet for weddings, and there’s enough room in there to make it your own.
A broken suit is one in which the suit jacket and pants are in contrasting colors. They may even feature different textures. You can’t go wrong with a navy jacket and khaki-colored pants. It’s a classic combo, it’s elegant, and any guy can pull it off. Usually, you’d go for a suit jacket and chinos or khakis.
A blazer is like a suit jacket but with metal buttons, not made to pair with matching trousers. So, unlike a suit jacket, it doesn’t have a matching separate. Blazers have a country-club-esque, members-only aesthetic. It’s more casual than a suit jacket but sufficiently formal.
For the trousers, I like khaki-colored dress pants or slim slacks. Dig through different brands that specialize in dress clothes. You might find a design of pants that pairs the dressiness of suit pants with the man-of-leisure vibe of slacks, like the Charles Tyrwhitt’s Smart Texture Pants. Plus, they’re stretchy.
These trousers are ideal for a broken suit, especially for a navy-khaki combo for summer weddings. While they do have a comfortable stretch quality to them, the textured fabric doesn't have a smooth "tech" appearance that other stretch pants on the market have.
Still, you don’t have to go for navy and khaki if it isn’t your style. Try an olive jacket with gray trousers, or a gray jacket with blue pants.
In the fall, you might choose a textured tweed jacket for that professorial look. Or you could try wearing a Glen check jacket with solid pants.
Go for a Dress Shirt and Pants
On the more casual side of smart casual, you might just wear a dress shirt with pants.
Of course, dress pants are the more formal option. Chinos are more casual but still appropriate and offer a slim, sleek fit. Slacks are dressier than chinos but still pretty casual, with a looser, breezier fit.
My suggestion here is to have fun with your shirt. Don’t go for inappropriately loud patterns or anything unless the hosts are into that.
Something as subtle as going for a different weave of a shirt can make a difference in how it wears on you. A Kensington weave might feel more structured than a smooth poplin weave, for example. Light also hits it differently, so it may display a subtle sheen.
Or, go for a more celebratory color instead of just blue or white. Cobalt blue has a slight purple undertone to it without going full Easter, though lilac would be appropriate during a spring or early summer wedding.
I recommend finding a proper shirt maker since they’ll have a wide range of colors, knits, and styles. Charles Tyrwhitt is a good, high-value example. Their dress shirts come in an expansive variety of options, from spread collar to semi-spread, Kensington weave to gridded textures.
They also do custom shirts. You might want to choose a dress shirt with an interior pattern. If you roll them up, they can serve as accents around your neck or even at the sleeve.
Go for a Full Suit
And of course, you can always go for a full suit.
Since we’re still in the smart casual realm, consider wearing a polo underneath instead of a dress shirt. Avoid black suits since they’re too formal.
Check out maroon, olive, or slate blue for a distinct but still classic look.
Casual Weddings
Just because a wedding is super casual doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an attempt. Even if the bride and groom are in t-shirts and jeans, it’s still a celebration.
And unless they’ve expressly asked you to do the same, you can always level up your casual outfit by adding structure.
Pick a button-down instead of a t-shirt. Polos are a great option because they’re relaxed, but still purposeful. Go for pants over shorts. Chinos are always a good choice.
And finally, go for a nice pair of white leather sneakers instead of the trainers you wear to the gym. And hey, you can always wear loafers. They go with any non-athletic casual outfit.
This is a situation in which you don’t necessarily have to worry about outshining the groom. In the most dressed-down backyard affair, you can show respect to your hosts by dressing purposefully.
Formal Weddings
It’s important to understand the difference between black tie, white tie, and their daytime equivalents. If you find yourself invited to a truly formal wedding, dress codes must be strictly respected.
White Tie Weddings
A white tie tuxedo is defined by more than just the color of the tie. It’s the most formal dress code, usually reserved for evening events.
The jacket is a double-breasted tailcoat. Meanwhile, the shirt ideally has a stiff, high collar, with pressed points. The proper name for this is a pique wing collar. Your shirt buttons must be white, not black. Mother-of-pearl buttons are particularly elegant.
Some white-tie events require gloves or tophats. If you go for a pocket square, this is the only dress code where you’ll match your pocket square to your tie.
Morning Dress
Morning dress is the daytime equivalent to white tie. I’ve actually been to way more morning dress weddings than I have white or black tie. They’re surprisingly common.
A morning coat is like a slightly less slim, white-tie tuxedo jacket, tails and all. Like its eveningwear counterpart, morning dress requires a waistcoat. The dress pants, however, are gray not black. Stripes are common too.
I’m going to highlight Charles Tyrwhitt one more time because they’re one of few brands in their high-value price bracket that still makes a good morning suit.
Black Tie and Black Tie Optional
Black tie is highly formal, though not as formal as white tie. As such, there’s bit more wiggle room here, at least compared to white tie and even morning dress.
Black tie attire includes a tuxedo, a black bow tie, and black dress shoes. A comprehensive tuxedo includes a tuxedo shirt with a cumberbund. You can go for a wingtip collar shirt or a turndown collar shirt with pleats.
If the wedding is on a boat, somewhere tropical, or seaside, a white dinner jacket is perfectly appropriate.
If the wedding is black tie optional, you can get away with a few alternative sartorial choices.
First, you can wear a midnight blue tuxedo over a black one. You can also opt for a turn-down collar with a long black silk tie instead of a bowtie. In fact, these alternatives are often acceptable even in a strict black tie event.
Second, if you don’t have a tuxedo, you can sport a slick black business suit.
The Stroller, Lounge Suit, or Stresemann
Strollers aren’t that common these days because full business suits are appropriate for day-time formals. But to make sure you come out of this with complete wedding garb knowledge, I’ll quickly cover it anyway.
We call it a stroller in the US, a lounge suit in the UK, and a Stresemann in Europe.
It features a lounge jacket, dress trousers which are often striped, a waistcoat, and a Homburg hat. It has a vintage vibe to it and often has a looser, but still clean-lined cut.
Surviving Summer Weddings
One of the big conundrums about dressing for weddings is that they’re often in the summer. How does one put on a full suit and tie during an outdoor ceremony in the middle of July under the scorching sun?
The answer is easy: Get yourself a summer suit.
Unlike a traditional wool suit, a summer suit is made of lighter, more breathable fabrics like linen or even bamboo and silk blends. They’re often lighter in color too. Light cloud gray, muted blues or greens, white, and cream are all common summer suit hues.
I understand why so many men don’t own a summer suit. If you work in an office, you’re usually good to wear your regular suit since we live in the era of air conditioning.
This won’t fly at a wedding. Even if it isn’t an outdoor ceremony, don’t you want to cut loose at the reception? And even if the wedding isn’t a suit-and-tie affair, suit separates are an effective way to level up casual outfits.
If you’re going to a beach wedding for example, you might even be in a dress shirt, shorts, and boat shoes. Pop a linen suit jacket over that, and you’ve gone from beach-goer to off-duty Bond.
A more casual beach wedding? Go for a camp collar shirt, cream linen suit pants, and leather driving mocs. You can also wear non-suit linens, but I think the slimmer cut of a suit pant adds a touch of formality without being stuffy.
Silk blend summer suits have a slight sheen to them, giving them a more formal aesthetic. I’m actually a big fan of them all year long.
Regardless of what they’re made from, warm-weather suits and suit separates are built to be light, breathable, and often moisture-wicking. They come in dark colors too, but just keep in mind that lighter hues deflect sun while darker ones heat up.
Wedding Accessories
And finally, here are some accessories to consider to make your outfit a little more you. Go for your favorite colors, patterns, and motifs. Have fun with these, but stay within the dress code.
- Watch
- Tie
- Tie clips
- Boutonniere
- Lapel pin
- Cufflinks
During a spring wedding, you might go for a boutonniere made from in-season flowers and plants. Or perhaps you’re the groom, and your groomsmen are all college friends. Pop your fraternity or university pin on that lapel.
Going back to the beach wedding scenario, a dive watch would pair beautifully with a linen suit.
Even in the most formal contexts, you can use accessories to express yourself.
Conclusion
Dressing for a wedding is all about combining style with practicality.
Here’s a piece of advice that I often give to groomsmen that I learned from my stint as a wedding planner’s assistant. Be ready for last-minute labor.
If the planned outdoor wedding gets rained out, and the venue is short-staffed, it’s up to the groomsmen to pitch in. And the last thing you want is to rip a seam when you’re moving tables into the banquet.
All that to say, weddings are a celebration. Cover your bases, from a dress code and practical perspective, and have fun picking your outfit out.
