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15 Traits of a High-Value Woman and Why You Shouldn’t Settle

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Joshua Sigafus

Dating, Relationships

Joshua has 15 years of writing experience within the complex territories of dating, masculinity, and relationships. His own personal life journey was kick-started by a pivotal marital breakdown of his own and led him down a path of self-discovery and masculine transformation, culminating in him developing a career as a men's dating coach. Read full bio.

Last Updated: Feb 14, 2024
18 min read
High value woman Attractive brunette girl in yellow top smiling

When I was a younger man, I didn’t understand the importance of being wise when selecting the caliber of women I allowed into my life. 

I knew just enough to think I knew what I was doing. 

But boy, was I wrong. 

Unfortunately, not understanding how to properly vet women led to me making a lot of mistakes. 

And ultimately, it led me into a marriage (which later failed) that I had no business being in. 

The truth is that it isn’t easy for men to understand what a high value woman is unless they’ve learned what to look for. 

There are parts of the mate selection process that seem intuitive. 

But if there’s one thing that most men are good at, it’s second-guessing themselves and throwing a wrench into the ‘cogs’ of their own life. 

As we seek to become better men and level-up our value, it’s equally important to seek out women who are going to be a true complement to our lifestyle. 

And in this post, you’re going to learn exactly what this type of woman looks like. 

But first, let’s dive in and uncover the ‘why’ behind the ‘what.’ 

Why is it important to pursue high value women in the first place?

Why Is It Important That You Pursue High-Value Women?

Joshua Sigafus Quote

The main reason for why it’s important for men to pursue high value women is because the women you choose to spend time with will have a profound impact on your levels of success, happiness, and fulfillment in life. 

If you’ve ever been on a date (or shared a bedroom) with a contentious, argumentative, lazy, or hateful woman, then you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. 

See, there are a lot of conflicts that serve to divide men and women. 

In fact, nobody describes the great ‘conflict of the sexes’ better than David M. Buss in his book The Evolution of Desire:

Novels, songs, soap operas, and tabloids tell us about battles between men and women and the pain they inflict on each other. Wives bemoan their husbands’ neglect; husbands are bewildered by their wives’ moodiness. “Men are emotionally constricted,” say women. “Women are emotional powder kegs,” say men. Men want sex too soon, too fast; women impose frustrating delays. Are these just stereotypes?

But conflict doesn’t have to be the ultimate result of a male-female coupling. 

In fact, when the masculine and the feminine come together in true balance, self-awareness, shared values, and a compatible vision and drive for the future, the results can be truly and positively life changing. 

Why else would a high value man ever choose to give up the sexual freedom of being a single man to pair bond with a woman?

The Truth Is, Men Can Only Accomplish So Much On Their Own

Even alpha males are limited in what they can accomplish without the loyalty and contribution of a high value woman by their side.  

This may sound ‘mystical,’ but it isn’t. 

It’s a simple natural truth. 

The ‘yin and yang’ of the female and male are both needed to fulfill the great human evolutionary mandate—our veritable life purpose and primary natural goal:

To proliferate the species, create a genetic legacy, and replace ourselves with offspring who’ll continue humankind’s great evolutionary plight for survival.

But what does a high value woman look like?

Now that you know why it’s important to pursue a high-value woman in your dating life, let’s dig deep into this question and uncover the truth. 

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15 Traits of a High-Value Woman

She Embraces Femininity

In our society, masculinity and femininity are terms that become more and more misunderstood as time goes on.

At the root of it all, femininity is simply this:

Behavior that openly broadcasts the primary female attraction metrics to men who are looking for a high-value female mate.

These attraction metrics are:

  • Youth
  • Beauty
  • Fertility
  • Fidelity
  • Agreeableness

As men, we’re intuitively aware of what constitutes feminine beauty.

And it’s vitally important that as you search for the ideal mate, you prioritize women who display feminine characteristics.


The answer is simple. 

How else will you balance out your own masculine energy within the relationship?

She Cares About Her Appearance

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Youth, beauty, and fertility are primary attraction metrics for women.

High-value women care about their appearance, take pride in being beautiful, and put effort into their fertility cues.

For you, as a man looking for a high value woman, this really comes down to one simple principle. 

Only entertain women who care about their appearance and put work into making themselves as beautiful as possible. 

She’s Agreeable

In recent decades, there’s been a bigger and bigger push for women to feel that they’re inherently superior to men just because they’re women.

But this way of thinking creates serious problems that get in the way of producing healthy, balanced relationships.

Of course, women are going to challenge you. That’s a natural part of their nature and serves a vital role in their vetting process.

But as a man, it’s important for you to discern the difference between healthy challenges (i.e. crap tests), and a generally unhealthy, disagreeable or argumentative nature.

High-value women understand that being an agreeable, pleasant partner makes them more attractive and valuable.

They also understand that if they want to walk with a high value man, they’ll need to relinquish control of the frame of the relationship to him and trust him to be the leader. 

Any woman who’s unwilling to do this is a liability, not a true complement to a high value man’s life and purpose. 

She’s a Champion of Women’s Causes

Frans de waal quote

Most men already understand how vitally important it is to avoid women who are hateful, bitter, or just genuinely distrustful toward men.

But it’s also true that a high value woman will be a champion of women’s causes. 

Here’s why. 

It all goes back to the power of the balance between the feminine and the masculine. 

As an alpha male seeks to build social hierarchies (a kingdom) for himself and his tribe, he’ll benefit greatly from the presence of a high value woman in his life who can appeal to the women within the hierarchy in ways that he cannot. 

She’ll be the type of woman other women can trust, admire, and look up to. 

She’s Kind

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Kindness is a massively underrated strength. 

In a lot of ways, being ‘kind’ has gone out of style. 

This is especially true for women. 

As men, our lives are inherently characterized by violence

Waking up every day tasked with building our value, surmounting obstacles, and defeating challenges is, at the core, a violent struggle. 

Women aren’t like men in this respect. 

Women are born possessing a certain amount of inherent natural value, just because they’re women. 

If anyone doubts this, take one look at the top earners on OnlyFans or webcam sites. 

Women are valued just for being beautiful, while men are required to earn their value through effectiveness to be desirable. 

For this reason, a high value woman will understand that her role in the male-female dynamic is one inherently characterized by kindness—to be the peace and beauty that counteracts the man’s violent struggle for value in this world.

And in return, he leverages his hard-won value to provide the safety and security she craves and desires.

See, it’s all connected. The masculine and the feminine have evolved to create a perfect balance between them—but only if both the man and the woman approach the relationship on equal, high value footing.  

She Only Associates With High Value Men

When you look at a woman’s dating history, you’ll learn a lot about what kind of person she is. 

You can also learn a lot about her relationship with ‘men’ in general by looking at her relationship with her father.

Does her dating history consist of high value men who’ve created real value in the world?

Or did she date a string of losers, abusers, and men with zero ambition?

Here’s the thing. 

Women do learn from their relationships. 

The big question, however, is this:

What has she learned?

Has she learned how to be a true complement to a high-value man’s life?

Or has she learned how to struggle and fight with low value men?

Snoop Dog once said:

“You can take your boy out the hood but you can’t take the hood out the homie.”

Well, this general idea applies to women as well.

If she’s used to living in trashy, disrespectful relationships with men, odds are good that those types of relationships are the only type she knows how to create in her life. 

A high value woman will understand and appreciate respectable, high value men when she sees them. 

If she’s never had a serious relationship, you can look at how she treats her father.

This will tell you a lot about how you can expect her to treat you in the future.  

She Has Good Female Friends

John Gottman Quote

Women need close friendships with other women. 

John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman describe this in great detail in their book The Man’s Guide to Women:

There is an evolutionary basis for why women form such close friendships. Much of their survival in the hunter-gatherer era was based on the ability to ‘affiliate’ within the tribe. A woman’s relationship with other females determined her safety and well-being and also her children’s social status. The more female relationships she had and nurtured, the higher the status of her children.

As a man, you can learn a great deal about a woman by observing her close female friendships. 

  • Does she have high quality friends?
  • Does she treat her friends well?
  • Do her friends mirror your values, morals, and worldviews?
  • Do her friends give her good advice?
  • Could you have her friends over for dinner without hating the experience and wishing they would leave?
  • Are her friends the caliber of women you would introduce your high value male friends to?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to all of these questions, that’s a good sign. 

She Cares About Her Reputation

Michelle Obama quote

We live in a world where many women have cast aside their reputations in favor of arrogance, a general disregard for how they’re viewed by men as a whole, and/or short-term financial gain. 

Does she post nude or semi-nude photos on Instagram, or is she the type of woman who takes her reputation more seriously than that?

Does she sell private or adult videos on sites like OnlyFans, or does she find more reputable ways to earn her money?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing morally against women who take part in this kind of work. 

In fact, some women actually take it seriously as an intentional business and an art medium, and there’s a certain amount of respect that can come along with that. 

But the truth of the matter is that high value women will put some serious thought into their reputation and their future opportunities. 

And if a woman’s sights aren’t set on anything higher than selling nudes, that’ll most likely pose a problem in her future. 

There’s also her social character to consider. 

Is she the type of woman who burns bridges when she gets mad, makes a fool of herself, or makes a spectacle of herself in public?

If so, think twice before allowing her access to your inner circle. 

A high value woman places an important emphasis on how she’s viewed by the public eye, because she understands that her reputation is an asset that she can’t recover once it’s been damaged.

She’s Classy

I once met a woman who seemed really classy, kind, and in-control of her faculties. 

She was also very attractive. So naturally, I was interested in her. 

But it didn’t take long for her true colors to come out. 

The first time we went to a club together, she got belligerently intoxicated and started grinding/making out on a couch with another random dude she met. 

I wish I could say that the night ended there, but it didn’t. 

Back then, I wasn’t quite as smart as I am now. So I was ready to give her a second chance.

I drove her home, but she forced me to make a rather sudden stop—at a convenient store. 

We spent 45 minutes at this store. She was so drunk that she was intermittently puking into the toilet, and then laying on the floor next to it—writhing in drunken pain. 

Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last very long.

Now, fast forward five years. 

The last time my current girlfriend and I went out to the club, she drank and had fun—but she didn’t get so drunk that she couldn’t herd her drunk friends to the car (where I was the designated driver) and take care of them until we got them home safely.

Then we went home and had a bit of our own tipsy fun, in private.  

Class matters. 

It matters for a lot of reasons. 

I cannot describe to you how grateful I am that I’m now with a woman who has character and class. It makes my life so much better, and it helps to keep our relationship fresh and respectful on a daily basis. 

She’s Always Improving Herself

Sigma Female Woman Wearing Glasses Holding Suitcase

Is she constantly striving to level up in life?

Is she working out, cultivating spiritual practices, learning new things, and expanding her skill sets?

Is she a hard worker who’s constantly investing in herself?

Here’s the thing. 

Being beautiful when you’re young and at the peak of your dating marketplace value is easy. 

But it’s quite another thing to work hard and plan ahead for the future. 

As a man, it’s in your best interest to find a woman who’s investing in herself in all of the proper ways. 

Is she leveling up mind, body, and spirit?

If not, understand that there will come a day when she’s going to plateau. 

And it won’t be pretty when it happens if she hasn’t done the leg-work to prepare for it. 

She’s a Peacemaker

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Is she the type of woman who starts fights, arguments, and drama?

Or is she the type of woman who builds bridges, mends relationships, and brings people together? 

There are plenty of dramatic women in the world. 

But a truly high value woman will strive to be a peacemaker—even when doing so isn’t the easiest thing. 

This is a trait to treasure highly in a woman. And truth be told, there aren’t very many women nowadays who cultivate this skill. 

When you come home from work, is this woman going to be a source of peace—welcoming you into your ‘castle’ and respecting you as the leader?

Or is she going to nag you, make problems, and start fights?

It matters. It matters a lot more than most men realize. 

She’s a Tribe Builder

As a man who wants to better himself, you’re going to be tasked with being an effective leader in life. 

This is an important alpha male mandate. 

But choosing a woman who can assist you wisely and effectively in this endeavor is just as important. 

A hierarchy is always more stable when it contains equal levels of powerful masculine and feminine influence. 

A high value woman understands this, and understands that her role as a tribe-builder goes hand-in-hand with the alpha male mandate of leadership. 

Thus, a high value woman will seek to uplift her fellow tribe members. These metaphorical brothers and sisters will be her priority, and she’ll focus on building them up and bringing them together instead of causing drama that tears them apart. 

She Embraces Healthy Sexuality

There are few red flags that stand out as brightly among women as the red flag of sexual dysfunction.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where many women have had negative sexual experiences. 

This is spelled out in tragic detail by David M. Buss and Cindy M. Meston in the book Why Women Have Sex:

Regardless of the age when sexual abuse occurs, the psychological consequences are far-reaching and can adversely affect almost all aspects of a woman’s life. Coerced or forced sex by a dating partner often represents a monumental breach of trust. This betrayal can make it difficult for some women to trust or commit to future sexual partners.

It’s important to have empathy for women who, either due to enduring their own negative sexual experiences in life, or due to any other reason, don’t understand how to have a healthy sexual relationship with a man where desire for sex is a driving, positive, and pleasurable force. 

But it’s also important to understand that dating women who have negative attitudes of shame, anger, resentment, bitterness, or rage associated with men and/or sexual activity with men are neither ready to date, nor should they be considered the type of partner a high value man would ever enter into an intimate relationship with. 

As you date and vet women, be aware of this. 

If a woman can’t come to the table with a healthy, vibrant sexual appetite, you’re only going to find trouble and difficulty within the relationship.

A book that can help you to discern this right away is Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. 

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We live in a world where masculinity is definitely being judged and attacked. 

But as a man, it’s important for you to recognize the truth. 

Masculinity has evolved the way it has for a reason. And that as men, we must embrace it and harness it to the benefit of not only our lives, but also the lives of those who sit within our inner circle.

With that being said, it’s also important that you avoid women who aren’t at peace with masculinity. 

A high value woman will understand that femininity and masculinity are just two aspects of humanity that make the genders beneficially different from one-another. 

Women who embrace this and have a healthy love and appreciation for masculinity are to be treasured and admired for it. These are the types of women who make high value partners. 

She’s Not a Victim

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Victim mentality is an attitude that seems to run rampant among people of both genders nowadays. 

But it has no place in a high value woman’s life. 

As a high value man, you’ve doubtlessly worked to eliminate the destructive traces of this foul disease in your own life. And thus, you should never seriously entertain a woman who hasn’t purged it from her own value system as well. 

To put it simply, a high value woman will always take responsibility for herself. She’ll never seek victimhood to gain the upper-hand or to make her life easier. 

She Saves Her Sexual Power For One Man

Female sexuality is a powerful natural force. 

But it’s important to pay attention to how the women around you choose to use this power. 

A high value woman understands that her sexual power is best used to draw her closer into an intimate relationship with a powerful, high value, alpha-mentality man. 

This is a life optimization principle that low value women simply don’t understand.

If a woman spreads her sexual energy willy-nilly amongst all kinds of low value men, or seems to have little to no care for how she conducts herself in the sexual marketplace, it may be a sign that she doesn’t understand the vital importance of leveraging her sexual power wisely.

As such, she’s likely not a woman truly deserving of a high value man’s time, attention, or investment. 


Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand what a high value woman is, and why you should only choose to invest in women who display these green flag behaviors. 

In conclusion, I’m going to leave you with one more piece of advice. 

Remember that a high value woman will only take a man seriously if his dating marketplace value is even higher than hers is

So if you want to be truly worthy of a woman of this caliber, it’s time to get to work. 

For more tips and advice for how to be a high value man, make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.