/  Dating

The First 10 Things a Woman Notices About a Man

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Joshua Sigafus
Expertise:

Dating, Relationships

Joshua has 15 years of writing experience within the complex territories of dating, masculinity, and relationships. His own personal life journey was kick-started by a pivotal marital breakdown of his own and led him down a path of self-discovery and masculine transformation, culminating in him developing a career as a men's dating coach. Read full bio.


Published: May 27, 2024
8 min read
Attractive woman checking out a man on the street

As men, we want women to notice us.

This is a primary and crucial evolutionary reproductive driving force.

Men are literally programmed by nature to want to reproduce successful. 

However, in order to make that desire a reality, they first need to gain the attention of the human females in their social groups. 

And this leads us to the age old question that the vast majority of men have likely spent hours thinking about: 

What are the first things women notice about a man?

The implications here are simple. 

If you know what women notice first, then you can work on those things to improve them. 

In doing so, you’ll increase your chances of not only getting noticed by the opposite sex, but also succeeding on the sexual marketplace. 

But what are they? 

I’ve spent years testing, studying, learning, researching, and interviewing women to learn the specific answers to this question.

And today, you’re going to learn the truth about what I’ve learned (and what has worked for me and many other men). 

His Eyes

eyes and smile

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. 

Well, it’s possible that women actually feel and act on this philosophy as if it were a scientific law of the universe. 

The way a man holds his eyes and manages his gaze says a lot about what his intentions are and whether or not he feels at ease, comfortable, and confident in a situation. 

And believe it or not, women are adept at picking up on the subtle cues expressed by this information.

Here are some simple exercises that can help you to level up the quality of your eyes and gaze so that you can leverage them as attraction metrics: 

The Mirror Exercise

Goal: Get comfortable with your own gaze.

How to Do It: Stand in front of a mirror, make eye contact with your reflection, and hold your gaze for increasing intervals of time—start with 30 seconds and work up to several minutes. Pay attention to how you feel as you maintain eye contact with yourself.

The Eye Contact Drill

Goal: Practice maintaining eye contact in a non-threatening way.

How to Do It: Engage in brief conversations with friends or family and focus on maintaining eye contact for at least 50-70% of the conversation. Use a soft gaze rather than an intense stare and remember to blink naturally.

The Watching TV/Movie Exercise

Goal: Learn to gauge what feels like natural eye contact.

How to Do It: While watching TV shows or movies, practice making eye contact with the characters. Observe the actors’ eyes during conversations. Notice how they use their eyes to convey emotion and intention, and try to mimic this behavior.

The Public Place Practice

Goal: Become comfortable with eye contact in social settings.

How to Do It: Sit in a cafe or park where people come and go. Practice making brief eye contact with passersby—aim for a quick glance that lasts just a second or two, accompanied by a small smile. This exercise helps normalize eye contact and reduces anxiety associated with it.

3-Second Rule

Goal: Strike a balance between engaging and overbearing.

How to Do It: In social situations, practice the 3-second rule: when you meet someone’s gaze, hold eye contact for three seconds before looking away. This duration is usually enough to show interest without making the other person feel uncomfortable.

His Smile

Fresh Clean Tees Cali Pullover model smiling

A man’s smile says a lot about him. 

It can convey confidence, politeness, and kindness, or it could betray ulterior motives of manipulation, deceit, or ill-will.

And women are really good at picking out which smiles are fake and which ones are real. 

So let your authentic smiles fly—but do so with a measured, masculine approach. 

His Facial Symmetry/Good Looks and Fitness Level

woman noticing a man

Genetics doubtlessly play a massive role in evolutionary reproductive mating behavior among humans.

Symmetrical facial features, general overall good looks, and quality of a man’s overall health and fitness tend to be prime indicators of superior genetics. 

While you can’t necessarily reprogram your genetics, you can work out, get a clean haircut, trim your beard, and just overall groom yourself to adopt a more symmetrical appearance

His Height

A lot of men find this to be a rather hopeless thing to think about. 

Women, by a vast margin, tend to prefer tall men—and this makes a lot of men who are shorter than six feet insecure and discouraged about their dating prospects. 

But don’t be too hard on yourself. 

What’s actually more important here is how you hold yourself, and to perhaps try to put a bit more effort into dating women who are shorter than you. 

You don’t have to be a giant. 

But the hard truth here is this—if you’re at least a couple of inches taller than the woman you’re trying to date, your odds are actually going to be significantly better.

Just remember—small height can be made up for with a big and unique personality.  

His Confidence

woman in love with a man

Confidence, unlike height, is something that we can master in our lives and broadcast with undeniable gravity. 

Women are attuned to picking up on confident body language and behavior patterns. 

And the truth is that more confident men will tend to be more attractive to women. 

His Hygiene

Cologne for Men - Male Model Wearing Charcoal Suit With Pink Shirt And Holding Hawthorne Play Fragrance Side Angle

Women notice right away when a man smells good.

But perhaps more importantly, they notice when he smells bad. 

What could drive a man to sacrifice his hygiene to such an extent that he looks, smells, or behaves in a sloppy fashion?

Whatever it is, women aren’t interested in it. 

Get your looks, smell, and style dialed in as best you can. 

It actually really matters. 

His Body Language

Body language can convey a number of different psychological and emotional data points. 

Not only can you convey confidence through body language, but you can also convey mental strength, formidability, competence, self respect, and comfortability within a situation. 

A man who walks with a stiff, downtrodden and/or awkward posture is going to stand out as being awkward around women—while a man who has a relaxed and socially inviting posture is going to immediately stand out as being more approachable.

His Style

tentree review sustainable clothes

Women love a man with style. 

And luckily for us men, this is something that’s completely within our control. 

Spend a bit of money to get yourself some stylish clothes. 

Visit a barber. 

Get a nice watch.

These are easily controllable metrics to level up in, so make the most of it.

His Voice and Manner of Speaking

woman flirting

There’s an element of this that’s out of our control. 

Some women tend to prefer lower tones of voice. 

And the belief is that this can actually be an indicator of higher testosterone levels. 

However, the data gets pretty shoddy on this front when you start reading a lot of different scientific studies. 

And the truth is that women from different cultures tend to admire voices of different tonalities.

The takeaway here is that men should learn to control their manner of speaking—in the sense that they should learn to be articulate, with a firm and steady voice—to say what they mean, and not to allow nervousness or other emotions to hijack their tone and cause their vocal patterns to be chaotic. 

As a man, it’s in your best interest to learn to speak clearly and in a manner that conveys a unique depth of personality and social savviness.

His Ability to Make Her Laugh

If you can make a woman laugh, you’ll gain some serious sexy points. 

This is hands down one of the best skills to learn for any man who wants to seduce women and succeed at dating. 

If you can make her laugh, you’re halfway there. 

So practice those jokes and figure out how to get her to crack a smile

This will earn you some serious ‘cred’ on the attraction front. 


I’ll leave you with one more piece of advice:

The best way to get women to notice you is to make a self improvement plan and fix/upgrade/level up the parts of your life that are in disrepair. 

At the end of the day, women value competency, formidability, responsibility, and maturity as basic prerequisites for dating and marriage. 

Start with getting your house, your finances, your bills, etc. in order. Get a better hold on your life and start lifting yourself out of bad situations

Start working out, upgrading your style, and taking better care of yourself with positive grooming habits. 

Start investing in yourself. Read good books, increase your knowledge, work on your body language, and learn how to get along better with good people so that you can increase your social standing

All of this is completely doable—and though it may be a challenge, you’ll soon find that you probably have a lot more control over your dating outcomes than you ever thought possible. 

You’ve got this. 

Go with grace, and never give up your power.