Yep, humor is a potent aphrodisiac.
As a man who has had my fair share of trial-and-error experiences with women, I can tell you with 100% certainty that this is true.
Women don’t want everything to be super serious all the time.
They crave adventure, fun, excitement, and positive emotion.
And when you can deliver these things, you’ll stand a far better chance of engaging her successfully and having a great time.
Why You Should Tease Girls: It’s Psychological
In the pickup community, there has always been a big discussion around the idea of ‘negging,’ and using the ‘push pull’ method to tease women to heighten their interest in you.
And guess what? It actually works when performed correctly.
Of course, it’s going to work a lot better on women who are already into you.
But, teasing is a lighthearted form of negging that can help you accomplish the same thing.
Why does this matter?
Because women only want to spend time with high value men.
And being confident enough to tease her (and doing a good job of it) broadcasts a subtle, yet powerful message:
I’m high value. I’m having a good time. And if you play your cards right, you may just get to join me.
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Alright. With all of that being said, let’s jump into it and establish some ground rules.
How to Tease a Girl: 4 Ground Rules to Follow
When I’m coaching men on how to playfully tease women, these are the 4 rules I always cover.
1. Be Genuine and Authentic
There’s truly no more important rule when it comes to teasing women than this.
You don’t need to rehearse a bunch of fancy lines. You don’t need to memorize dozens of pickup techniques.
Just put your improv skills to work, and be unabashedly and unashamedly you.
2. Don’t Get Serious Too Soon or Too Easily
A lot of men will start out strong with teasing, only to revert back to seriousness too soon.
This is usually driven by a goal-oriented mentality.
So learn to be cool about it. Keep the teasing going. Take your time, and don’t break that ‘fun loving’ mentality so quickly.
That leads to the next rule.
3. Don’t Be Goal Oriented
A lot of men start out thinking of teasing as part of the goal of getting the woman into bed with them.
But this way of thinking only hurts your chances and the value of the encounter.
Don’t put the pressure of a goal onto yourself or onto her.
Later on, awesome things might happen. You might ask her out, invite her back to your apartment, or go in for the kiss.
But don’t be goal oriented about it. Just enjoy the exchange and have fun.
4. Be Gentle
In case you haven’t noticed, women are delicate. Their emotions are complicated, and they are easily hurt if teasing goes too far.
I would strongly recommend that you read the book The Man’s Guide To Women, by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, to learn more about this.
But long story short:
Tease her lightly, in a way that won’t actually hurt her feelings.
Also remember that voice inflection matters.
If you deliver a tease with a light-hearted, fun-loving demeanor, it’s going to come off a lot differently than if you were to say the same thing with a straight voice, aggressive sarcasm, or a hint of actual negativity.
This is a subtle game. Don’t make the mistake of walking into her world, only to act like a destructive bull in the ‘china closet’ of her feelings.
Alright. Now let’s talk about how to actually tease a woman.
What to Tease a Girl About: 7 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love
1. Purposefully Take Things She Says Out of Context
The idea here is that you pick up on something she says, and then just comically take it in a wild or extreme direction.
Here are a few examples.
Woman: I’m not a big fan of country music.
Me: Oh I see. So in other words, you hate America.
Here’s one I literally used on a woman just the other day (very successfully, I might add).
Woman: I just like to stay at home a lot. I’m not a people person.
Me: So you’re a little emo?
Woman: Yeah, I guess so. (giggles a bit)
Me: So favorite activity—sitting at home in the dark, all alone, crying and masturbating. Gotcha.
2. Make Absurd Judgments about Her Based on Random Factors
With this method, you basically pick up on something that she says or does, and then judge her for it in a ridiculous, over-the-top way.
Woman: Orders a martini at the bar.
Me: Ordering a martini? You must be one of those fancy girls.
Here’s another example that I’ve actually used (again, quite successfully).
Woman: I’m not usually one to hook up on a first date.
Me: I see. So you’re really Christian about those kinds of things, eh?
3. Use Call-Back Style Humor to Revisit That Absurd Judgment
Once you establish a joke or a tease, referring back to it can be an awesome method for making it even better than it was the first time.
Here’s an idea based on the example used above:
Woman who ordered the martini: Hey bartender, I’ll have another.
Me: Uh oh, still being fancy. Either it’s real, or now you’re just trying to impress me.
4. Fixate on Something That Mildly Irritates Her
Recently, I went on a date with a woman and noticed that she kept referencing emo music from the early 2000s in our conversation.
I asked her if she was a ‘closet emo.’
She rolled her eyes and blurted out “no, I’m not emo! In middle and high school I was goth. That’s totally different.”
Bingo. This got a response from her, so I kept returning to it in our conversation.
Her: Shows me her tattoo of Morticia (from the Adam’s Family) on her shoulder.
Me: See, you say you’re not emo. Then you show me this. *I shake my head and smile at her. You’re emo as hell.
5. Pretend like You Know Something about Her, but Don’t Divulge It
Sometimes, after talking to a girl for a little while at a bar, I’ll set my drink down and look at her with a fake serious look, and say this.
I have a theory about you, but I’m not sure yet if I’m right or not.
Of course, if she’s at all interested in me, she’ll beg me to tell her what my theory is.
And I’ll answer with something like this:
Let’s get another drink or two, first. I’m not tipsy enough for this.
Then, I’ll move past it and just let it sit.
She may keep thinking about it, and may even bring it up again.
I also like this technique because it plants a ‘seed’ that may come up in a later conversation.
If she asks about it later, I’ll usually follow it up by making a statement about her that’s kind of deep, that I actually believe to be true.
My theory is that you don’t usually feel appreciated for your talent. I think you struggle to feel like you’re seen and respected by your male peers…
This can lead into building connection and making a more personal, deeper impact.
6. Give Her a Title or a Nickname
I once met this beautiful woman I really liked, whose name started with a G.
Now, one of my favorite ways to give nicknames to women is to use the first letter of their name, and then add some stuff onto it.
(G-dog, G-rat, G-fluff, or whatever I come up with).
But here’s the thing.
Nicknames work better for teasing when the girl gets a little annoyed by them.
So I’ll usually play this little game where I’ll try out a bunch of nicknames on her over the course of the evening, and watch for the one that provokes a reaction.
Anyway, this particular woman, for some reason, reacted really strongly when I called her Gay Gay. And boom—that was her new nickname.
Anytime I used it on her, she would sigh in mock (or maybe slightly real) frustration. It was glorious.
Me: You ready to go Gay Gay?
Her: “F*** you,” she would mutter under her breath as she finished her drink and grabbed her purse.
We ended up having a lovely summer fling, so it must have worked.
7. Disagree with Her in a Funny, Non-serious Way
Sometimes I set this tease up by asking a question. Here’s an example that I recently used on a woman I went out with:
Me: Ok, who’s your celebrity crush?
Her: Definitely Mark Wahlberg. He’s so rugged.
Me: *Makes a cringy face. Oof. Alright, I’m going to say this, even though it may sound mean. But every time I see Mark Wahlberg, I just think that he’s actually the generic-brand Matt Damon.
This one really hit her in the right spot. It was perfect for the situation and worked like a charm.
How to Tease a Girl Sexually
Teasing a girl sexually is an even more subtle art.
You don’t want to jump into it too quickly.
You want to ease into it.
The best way to start moving in the direction of incorporating sexual escalation into your teasing is to sexually escalate while teasing her non-sexually at first, while just talking to her and having a good time.
To do this, you’ll want to initiate some physical touch. Do things like:
- Brush her hair out of her eyes
- Touch her arm
- Touch her hand
- Hold her hand
- Go in for a kiss
Then, after you’ve built up some comfort with physical touch and you’re starting to notice that she’s responding well, you can transition more into sexual teasing.
You can use the same techniques described above. But you can make them slightly more sexual in nature.
If she responds well to this type of teasing, it’s a very good sign that she’s hoping you’ll make good on it later.
There you have it!
Seven playful teases that you can use to drive women crazy in the best ways.
Just remember—at the end of the day, there’s no amount of teasing that’ll make up for low dating marketplace value.
So seek every day to become a better man, and continue to level-up in mind, body, and spirit.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
How do you tease a girl over text?
Teasing a girl over text is pretty similar to teasing in person, with one caveat.
Don’t ever sexually tease a girl over text unless she starts it.
Remember, an alpha man will do what he wants sexually with a woman in-person, in her bedroom.
He doesn’t need to text/talk about it to get his rocks off.
Be a man of action. If you’re going to tease her sexually, you may as well tell her to come over, and do it in person.
How should you tease your girlfriend or wife?
Teasing your long-term wife or girlfriend is actually a lot of fun, because you can get away with things in that context that you could never get away with in a bar.
I tease my girlfriend all the time. We have this one ongoing joke where she always complains that I have the AC set too low, so she’s always cold.
I often respond to this with some version of this joke:
Oh? Are you sure that your black, ice-cold heart isn’t to blame for that?
This would maybe have been too much when we first met. But after being together for almost 4 years, I can safely crank the ‘savage’ level up by a few notches.