You’ve probably heard that communication is important in a relationship.
Pretty much all psychologists and relationship experts cite poor communication as the most common factor leading to break-ups.
And it’s the sort of thing you’ll read about and seen on TV a thousand times in your life.
But it’s well worth remembering. The very second you and your girl stop communicating, your relationship can go sour.
Just cast your mind back to your last relationship…
See what we mean?
So you need to get talking to your other half. We don’t just mean answering her questions with a grunt, fellas. You need to get into proactive communication—it really helps to strengthen a relationship and create a stronger bond.
How do you achieve this?
Well, here’s one way. You ask questions!
Why Should You Ask Your Girlfriend Questions?
Asking your girlfriend a question is an awesome way to go about starting a positive conversation with her.
Make the queries open-ended, listen to her replies and reply thoughtfully, and you’ll learn more about her, make her laugh, and make her think. Often just with one easy sentence.
Communication is a two-way street, though. Active listening and contributing to the conversation is as important as asking questions of your partner. Fight the stereotype of men not being great listeners and give your ears a workout too.
Comment on her answers and offer your own experiences. Add a little humor. Women are attracted to men who make them laugh. In fact, there’s science behind it.
We’ve decided to help you out here. We’ve compiled a list of 90 of the best questions to ask your girlfriend.
And we’ve split the list into categories to make it even clearer. Each category focuses on a specific situation.
Interesting Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Even if (actually, especially if) you’ve been together since Nixon was President, chit-chat with your girl will dry up from time to time.
Try getting her to talk to you about something she’s interested in. Engage her mind, offer her a head-scratching quizzer and the discussion will fly. Trust us.
- What’s a story you’ve always wanted to tell, but never got a chance to?
- What’s one thing your friends think is fun that you don’t?
- Do you find you pronounce any words differently than other people?
- What’s a song you like from a genre or band you don’t like?
- Is there something you could cut out of your life with little effort that would save you tons of money?
- What’s something you like to do that’s underrated?
- Has anything weird happened to you lately?
- Are you known for anything special in your hometown/friend group?
- What did you not realize about yourself until somebody else told you about it?
- What’s your go-to party story? (if you don’t already know it)
- If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would it be?
- What’s your go-to joke lately?
- What’s your favorite hobby?
- What’s an urban legend about where you’re from?
- What do you have a strong opinion on that is unimportant in the grand scheme of things?
- If actors could summon an army of all the characters they’ve played, who would win in a war of actors?
- Have you ever gotten petty revenge on somebody? What did you do?
- What’s your favorite “make a rule” in drinking games?
- What trend do you think will never go out of style?
- What’s your pet peeve?
- Would you rather be the damsel in distress or the hero to save the day?
- If you found $10,000 on the ground tomorrow, what would you do with it?
- What dating advice would you give to somebody about to enter their first relationship?
- Has a book made you cry? What was it?
- How do you want people to remember you?
- Are you happy?
- What’s the best way for you to learn new things?
- Could you be in a long distance relationship?
- If you had one wish, what would it be?
- What’s your passion?
There will always be something new to learn about her. Learning about your girlfriend is especially important in new relationships. The above questions keep the conversation going, interest her, and helps you learn more about what makes her tick.
Watch this video for more ideas for things to talk about with your girlfriend:
Make it More Fun With a Couple Card Game
A super fun way to learn new things about your girlfriend is to use a couple card game.
This way, rather than one of you firing off all the questions like it’s a bad blind date, you can make more of a game of it and take turns.
This Intimacy Deck from BestSelf is the best we’ve tried:
If you’re looking for new ways to connect with your girlfriend on a personal level or get out of your conversational routine, you’ll have a lot of fun with this.
And because you learn so many new things about each other you’ll develop a whole new level of intimacy.
We like that each conversation starter is thoughtful and not redundant. And they’re designed carefully to not be argument starters.
Turn off Netflix for a night and give it a go. You’re going to be surprised by how much fun it is.
Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Making your girlfriend laugh will make you more attractive to her.
It’s all well and good asking deep and meaningful questions that make her think and give you an insight into her brain.
But it’s all for nothing if you come across too serious. Lighten the tone and get some humor going.
- If we started a band together, what would you want us to be called?
- What world record do you think you could set?
- If you wrote erotic novels, what would your pseudonym be?
- Do you have a phone voice or a puppy/baby voice?
- What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed in your pajamas in the day?
- If you had a warning label, what would it say?
- What’s the first thing you do when you have the house all to yourself?
- If you could cause one minor inconvenience to the person you hate the most, what would it be?
- What is the weirdest fact you know?
- What’s your favorite curse word?
If these aren’t enough for you, here are some more questions that might put a smile on her face.
TAM’s Top 3 Fragrances That Will Drive Your Girlfriend Crazy
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Personal Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is undoubtedly the most important section of this list.
The internet has thousands of guides to show your girlfriend you’re interested in her, but bringing her breakfast in bed doesn’t truly show you care on a deep emotional level, does it? It just shows you can make toast.
Asking her questions specifically focused on her emotions shows that you truly love her. Make her feel loved by giving these a go:
- What was the best part of your week?
- What was your first thought this morning?
- How can I make your day better?
- Is there anything you’ve wanted to do for a while, but need help with?
- How have you been feeling lately?
- Is there something coming up that you’re nervous for?
- What’s stressed you out lately?
- Is there anything that would help you relax?
- How are your family/friends?
- Have you done anything for yourself lately?
Questions to Learn About Her Past
Don’t be nosey or push topics you know are off-limits. But also, don’t be afraid to tackle big subjects.
Asking about your girl’s past can evoke nostalgia in her and make her happy. It can also have the opposite effect, though. So pay attention and steer the conversation away if you sense that you’ve touched on something she’s not ready to talk about.
Understanding your girlfriend’s past can be an important factor in creating a strong relationship.
- What skill did you master when you were younger that you’ve forgotten since?
- What was your nickname as a kid?
- What’s your greatest accomplishment?
- What’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to go through?
- Have you ever been in a relationship when you weren’t in love?
- Where did you grow up? Where’s the best place you’ve lived?
- What was your most embarrassing moment?
- Who was your crush as a kid?
- What were you like in high school? In what way have you changed the most?
- What was your favorite kid’s TV show?
Intimate Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
I can’t understate the importance of intimacy in a relationship.
While the physical side of intimacy often gets the most attention (and we all know why), emotional intimacy is truly the bedrock of any strong relationship.
Intimate questions are an excellent way for you to build a strong emotional connection with your girlfriend. Here are a few of our favorites:
- What was your first thought when we met?
- When did you realize that we’d make it as a couple?
- What do you find most attractive about me?
- What are the three things you’re most thankful for in life?
- What’s been your favorite adventure of ours together?
- What do you like most about us?
- Do you have any unfulfilled fantasies?
- Is there anything you want to say to me but you’ve feltr you couldn’t?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten this year?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About Your Relationship
Asking questions about the state of your relationship can keep problems from building up and turning into a larger issue (at least that’s the theory, anyway). If you talk about it before the problem builds, you can address it while it is still a minor issue.
Give your girlfriend an opportunity to share her emotions with you, be they positive or negative, and you will build a much stronger and more open relationship.
Here’s what we mean:
- Is there something you feel our relationship is missing?
- What was your first impression of me?
- If you had to change one thing in our relationship what would it be?
- Are you happy with me?
- What is your favorite memory of our relationship?
- Do you feel cared for and loved in our relationship?
- Was there a moment when you knew you were in love?
- Is there anything we could do together to strengthen our relationship?
- What is the strongest part of our relationship?
- Do you feel loved enough?
“What If” Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
What if questions are a fun way to get her imagination working. Here are five of our favorites:
- What if you could relive one day in your life? Which would it be and why?
- What if we only had one day left together? What would you want us to do?
- What if you had the power to read my mind? Would you use it for good or evil?
- What if you were offered $10 million dollars to break up with me? Would you take it? If not, is there an amount you would take?
- What if we were stranded on a desert island together? How do you think we’d fare?
Important Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Use these questions to establish a sense of direction for your relationship.
It’s important both of you are on the same page, and if you’re not, that you’re at least prepared to talk things out.
These questions can help set goals for your relationship and help you understand what her most important goals are.
- How do you see yourself in five years? What’s your job? Where do we live?
- What’s something we should do together that we haven’t done before?
- How important is having kids to you?
- What are the top three things on your bucket list?
- Do you have any experiences that have shaped how you view the future?
- What is your ultimate goal?
- Have you made any decisions that will shape the rest of your life?
- Where do you want to retire?
- What do you want in our relationship?
- What most concerns you about the future?
Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Another way to add depth to your relationship is to talk about deeper subjects. Existential questions are a great way to do this. These can make for heavy conversation, though, so you might want to ready yourself for it.
- What’s the biggest problem in the world? How could we fix it?
- Do you have any regrets in life?
- If you could see into the future one time, what would you want to see?
- What’s your deepest secret?
- Who comforts you the most?
- How do you want people to remember you?
- Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
- Do you think long distance can work? How far is too far?
- What would you give up to pursue your dreams?
- If you could change one thing in history, what would it be?
Strong relationships are built on a deep connection and understanding of each other’s goals and needs. The best way of gaining that understanding is through communication.
And some of your most comfortable and worthwhile chats can stem from a well-timed question. Try to avoid questions from this list, though.
So with all the questions set out here, you have plenty of ammunition now. Whether it’s to save, stabilize, or continue your relationship—it takes work.
Good luck. Be positive. Ask questions!