You’ve probably heard that communication is important in a relationship.
Pretty much all psychologists and relationship experts cite poor communication as the most common factor leading to break-ups.
And it’s the sort of thing you’ll read about and see on TV a thousand times in your life.
But it’s well worth remembering. The very second you and your girl stop communicating, your relationship can go sour.
Just cast your mind back to your last relationship…
See what we mean? You need to get talking to your other half.
And we don’t just mean answering her questions with a grunt, fellas. You need to get into proactive communication—it really helps to strengthen a relationship and create a stronger bond.
So, how do you achieve this?
Well, here’s one way. You ask questions!
Why Should You Ask Your Girlfriend Questions?
Asking your girlfriend a question is an awesome way to go about starting a positive conversation with her.
Make the queries open-ended, listen to her replies and reply thoughtfully, and you’ll learn more about her, make her laugh, and make her think. Often just with one easy sentence.
Communication is a two-way street, though. Active listening and contributing to the conversation are as important as asking questions of your partner. Fight the stereotype of men not being great listeners and give your ears a workout too.
Comment on her answers and offer your own experiences. Add a little humor. Women are attracted to men who make them laugh. In fact, there’s science behind it.
We’ve decided to help you out here. We’ve compiled a list of 216 of the best questions to ask your girlfriend.
And we’ve split the list into categories to make it even clearer. Each category focuses on a specific situation.
Interesting Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Even if (actually, especially if) you’ve been together since Nixon was President, chit-chat with your girl will dry up from time to time.
Try getting her to talk to you about something she’s interested in. Engage her mind, offer her a head-scratching quizzer and the discussion will fly. Trust us.
- What’s a story you’ve always wanted to tell, but never got a chance to?
- What’s one thing your friends think is fun that you don’t?
- Do you find you pronounce any words differently than other people?
- What’s a song you like from a genre or band you don’t like?
- Is there something you could cut out of your life with little effort that would save you tons of money?
- What’s something you like to do that’s underrated?
- Has anything weird happened to you lately?
- Are you known for anything special in your hometown/friend group?
- What did you not realize about yourself until somebody else told you about it?
- What’s your go-to party story? (if you don’t already know it)
- If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would it be?
- What’s your go-to joke lately?
- What’s your favorite hobby?
- What’s an urban legend about where you’re from?
- What do you have a strong opinion on that is unimportant in the grand scheme of things?
- If actors could summon an army of all the characters they’ve played, who would win in a war of actors?
- Have you ever gotten petty revenge on somebody? What did you do?
- What’s your favorite “make a rule” in drinking games?
- What trend do you think will never go out of style?
- What’s your pet peeve?
- Would you rather be the damsel in distress or the hero to save the day?
- If you found $10,000 on the ground tomorrow, what would you do with it?
- What dating advice would you give to somebody about to enter their first relationship?
- Has a book made you cry? What was it?
- How do you want people to remember you?
- Are you happy?
- What’s the best way for you to learn new things?
- Could you be in a long distance relationship?
- If you had one wish, what would it be?
- What’s your passion?
There will always be something new to learn about her. Learning about your girlfriend is especially important in new relationships. The above questions keep the conversation going, interest her, and helps you learn more about what makes her tick.
Watch this video for more ideas for things to talk about with your girlfriend:
Make it More Fun With a Couple Card Game
A super fun way to learn new things about your girlfriend is to use a couple card game.
This way, rather than one of you firing off all the questions like it’s a bad blind date, you can make more of a game of it and take turns.
This Intimacy Deck from BestSelf is the best we’ve tried:
Best Self's Intimacy deck is a great tool for deep talks and strengthening your relationship with your significant other. Men who struggle with showing a healthy amount of openness and vulnerability with their girlfriends will get plenty of use out of this conversational card game. It's a great addition to your next date night to get the sparks flying and learn more about the special woman in your life.
If you’re looking for new ways to connect with your girlfriend on a personal level or get out of your conversational routine, you’ll have a lot of fun with this.
And because you learn so many new things about each other you’ll develop a whole new level of intimacy.
We like that each conversation starter is thoughtful and not redundant. And they’re designed carefully to not be argument starters.
Turn off Netflix for a night and give it a go. You’re going to be surprised by how much fun it is.
If you’re really having a hard time connecting with your girl, or the ‘spark’ has waned, you may find it helpful to talk to someone independent (i.e. not your friends or family who often can’t help but take your side because they love you).
I recently did just that—I connected with an online relationship coach at a site called Relationship Hero. My girlfriend and I are getting close to potentially moving in together and I wanted to get an outside perspective on a few things.
One of my friends recommended them as they had a really good experience, and I found the session to be even better than I expected.
The coach was kind and empathetic, I walked away with some firm actionable steps for me to take to walk with confidence toward this exciting new milestone with my girlfriend.
While this wasn’t my issue in this case, if I was having issues connecting with her, I think a Relationship Hero coach would be worth speaking to about it.
Myself and quite a few men in our community have had great results getting their relationships back on track quickly by using this highly regarded online relationship coaching service. Sometimes a little unbiased advice from a professional goes a long way.
Random Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Random questions are great for when you’re curious about learning something new and completely unexpected about your girlfriend.
- What’s your favorite book or movie?
- Would you rather swim with sharks or jellyfish?
- Have you ever gotten detention in school?
- What’s your favorite animal and why?
- If a genie granted us three wishes, what would they be?
- Have you ever cried in public before?
- Have you ever gone skiing or snowboarding?
- Have you ever done a backflip or frontflip?
- Have you ever driven a car off the road?
- Have you ever been in a fight?
Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Making your girlfriend laugh will make you more attractive to her.
It’s all well and good asking deep and meaningful questions that make her think and give you an insight into her brain.
But it’s all for nothing if you come across too serious. Lighten the tone and get some humor going.
- If we started a band together, what would you want us to be called?
- What world record do you think you could set?
- If you wrote erotic novels, what would your pseudonym be?
- Do you have a phone voice or a puppy/baby voice?
- What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed in your pajamas in the day?
- If you had a warning label, what would it say?
- What’s the first thing you do when you have the house all to yourself?
- If you could cause one minor inconvenience to the person you hate the most, what would it be?
- What is the weirdest fact you know?
- What’s your favorite curse word?
Funny/Silly Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
A step up in humor from our fun questions list.
Use these questions to make her laugh and start a fun conversation that’s full of smiles.
- If you had your own butler, what would you make him do?
- How long do you think you could stare into my eyes without laughing?
- Which animal would be the most useless pet in your opinion?
- When you wake up in the morning, what’s your first thought?
- If you had to wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- What’s the most borderline offensive word you’ve used in a public conversation?
- What two things should NEVER go together?
- Do you have any childhood stories that embarrass you now?
- Do you have any weird friends?
- What body part do you think best defines your personality?
Weird Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Weird questions are as goofy as you can get.
Use them as fun, off-the-wall questions for a good laugh or to quickly change up the mood to a lighter tone.
- What is the longest distance you’ve traveled by car without sleeping?
- If you had your own butler, what would you make him do?
- What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
- Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 50 emperor penguins?
- If you could live underwater, would you? Why?
- How would you manage a condition where you unintentionally swore in every sentence you spoke?
- If you had an ice cream flavor for a name, what would it be?
- How would you react if a stranger whispered in your ear?
- Will robots take over our jobs in the future?
- Why do you think it’s illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota?
If these aren’t enough for you, here are some more questions that might put a smile on her face.
Cute Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
If you’re looking for ways to make your girlfriend feel special, why not try asking her some cute questions?
By showing a genuine interest in her life, her feelings, and what makes her happy, you’ll communicate to her that she’s important to you.
Here are a few examples of questions that will make her smile.
- What’s your favorite memory of us together?
- Have we ever had a heart-to-heart talk before?
- How was today for you work-wise?
- What was your favorite part about today?
- Why did you choose this color to paint your nails?
- What’s your favorite season and why?
- What’s your favorite perfume?
- Why did you choose to wear your hair this way?
- Do you collect anything? If so, why?
- What’s your happiest memory?
Personal Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is undoubtedly the most important section of this list.
The internet has thousands of guides to show your girlfriend you’re interested in her, but bringing her breakfast in bed doesn’t truly show you care on a deep emotional level, does it? It just shows you can make toast.
Time and time again, women have told us that the best gifts they’ve ever received from their boyfriend or husband is something that’s personal.
For example, one of our writers had a special photograph of his girlfriend and I made into a hand-painted portrait by Paint Your Life and it went down with her very well.
Paint Your Life did a great job at transforming one of my favorite photos of my girlfriend and I into a hand-painted portrait. My advice? Take your time choosing the right photo, art medium, and frame, and don’t be afraid to ask for modifications from your artist. If you do, you’ll wind up with a gorgeous portrait your girlfriend, wife, or anyone in your life will love.
Beyond a gift, asking her questions specifically focused on her emotions shows that you truly love her. Make her feel loved by giving these a go:
- What was the best part of your week?
- What was your first thought this morning?
- How can I make your day better?
- Is there anything you’ve wanted to do for a while, but need help with?
- How have you been feeling lately?
- Is there something coming up that you’re nervous for?
- What’s stressed you out lately?
- Is there anything that would help you relax?
- How are your family/friends?
- Have you done anything for yourself lately?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About Yourself
These questions will help you understand your relationship with your girlfriend from her perspective.
Some may be hard to ask, but the personal growth you’ll get from asking these will outweigh any blow to your ego.
These questions will help you improve as a man and you’ll get to learn how your girlfriend sees you (and her favorite things about you!)
- What’s your favorite cologne that I wear?
- What do you like most about my personality?
- Do you feel safe when you’re with me?
- What do you think is my best quality?
- What would you say is my biggest weakness?
- What’s your favorite thing that I do?
- Is there anything about my personality that bothers you?
- How would you describe me in three words or less?
- Do you think I’m funny, serious, or somewhere in between?
- Am I someone you feel like you can depend on for emotional support?
Romantic Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Without romance, do you even have a girlfriend? Romance is a vital part of every healthy relationship and it’s often overlooked by men. So use these questions to spark up some love and romance in your relationship with her.
TAM’s Top 3 Fragrances That Will Drive Your Girlfriend Crazy
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You can answer the questions about you with responses about her for added tension and to deepen your bond. P.S. blatantly sexual questions aren’t appropriate to talk about when others can hear (unless she’s into that).
- What’s something that often reminds you of me?
- What’s the most attractive thing about me?
- Which one of our dates did you have the best time?
- What’s your favorite body part to get compliments on?
- When did you first fall for me?
- What are some things that turn you on when you think about them?
- Is there anything you’d really like to do together this year?
- Your [anything about her] looks amazing today—what did you do?
- What’s your favorite part about a date?
- Have you ever fantasized about something you want to do together?
If you find yourself struggling with romance in your personal relationships, I must mention Zan Perrion’s book, The Alabaster Girl. It will change your perspective on how you view women forever—and you’ll learn from a master of his craft.
The Alabaster Girl is a one-of-a-kind book written by the internationally known relationships and seduction legend, Zan Perrion. Spending nearly 30 years in a state of rejection by women, Zan persisted through his failures until he honed his abilities to engage women with absolute confidence and authenticity. The Alabaster Girl is his story and philosophy on the wonders of women.
This book permanently changed me for the better—if I could only suggest one book a man should read to strengthen his love and passion for women, it’s this one.
Flirty Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Flirty questions are similar to romantic questions because of the underlying sexual intent—but they come off as more fun, lighthearted, and playful than romantic questions. Use them for some tongue-in-cheek fun.
Just remember to only ask sexual questions when nobody else can hear—they may make her feel uncomfortable when others are around. Confidentiality is key to her enjoying the fun, sexual side of flirting with you.
- What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?
- Are you trying to turn me on with that outfit?
- Are you ready for tonight? (Suggestive of an activity)
- Are you hitting on me? (Insist she is)
- Are you going to behave yourself today?
- What do you think should be your reward for behaving so well today?
- If we weren’t in public, what would you do to me right now?
- I think you need a punishment for [something she did], but what?
- Does this outfit make me look hot right now?
- What are you thinking about right now?
Questions to Learn About Her Past
Don’t be nosey or push topics you know are off-limits. But also, don’t be afraid to tackle big subjects.
Asking about your girl’s past can evoke nostalgia in her and make her happy. It can also have the opposite effect, though. So pay attention and steer the conversation away if you sense that you’ve touched on something she’s not ready to talk about.
Understanding your girlfriend’s past can be an important factor in creating a strong relationship.
- What skill did you master when you were younger that you’ve forgotten since?
- What was your nickname as a kid?
- What’s your greatest accomplishment?
- What’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to go through?
- Have you ever been in a relationship when you weren’t in love?
- Where did you grow up? Where’s the best place you’ve lived?
- What was your most embarrassing moment?
- Who was your crush as a kid?
- What were you like in high school? In what way have you changed the most?
- What was your favorite kid’s TV show?
Intimate Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
I can’t understate the importance of intimacy in a relationship.
While the physical side of intimacy often gets the most attention (and we all know why), emotional intimacy is truly the bedrock of any strong relationship.
Intimate questions are an excellent way for you to build a strong emotional connection with your girlfriend. Here are a few of our favorites:
- What was your first thought when we met?
- When did you realize that we’d make it as a couple?
- What do you find most attractive about me?
- What are the three things you’re most thankful for in life?
- What’s been your favorite adventure of ours together?
- What do you like most about us?
- Do you have any unfulfilled fantasies?
- Is there anything you want to say to me but you’ve felt you couldn’t?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten this year?
Relationship Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Asking questions about the state of your relationship can keep problems from building up and turning into a larger issue (at least that’s the theory, anyway). If you talk about it before the problem builds, you can address it while it is still a minor issue.
Give your girlfriend an opportunity to share her emotions with you, be they positive or negative, and you will build a much stronger and more open relationship.
Here’s what we mean:
- 1. Is there something you feel our relationship is missing?
- 2. What was your first impression of me?
- 3. If you had to change one thing in our relationship what would it be?
- 4. Are you happy with me?
- 5. What is your favorite memory of our relationship?
- 6. Do you feel cared for and loved in our relationship?
- 7. Was there a moment when you knew you were in love?
- 8. Is there anything we could do together to strengthen our relationship?
- 9. What is the strongest part of our relationship?
- 10. Do you feel loved enough?
Love Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Love questions are deep and profound questions that help lay the groundwork for a long-term relationship with her. They have to come up in a relationship at some point—usually when you’ve both decided to get serious.
But, use these questions very carefully if you’ve never discussed love with her before. If you randomly blurt out that you love a girl when you’ve never discussed it, you might freak her out and your relationship could fold quickly.
- Have you ever been in love?
- What does love mean to you?
- What does the idea of love make you think about?
- Do you think there’s a difference between sex and love?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Has a guy ever told you they loved you?
- How do you know when you’re in love?
- How important is love in a relationship to you?
- Why do you love me? (Only ask if she’s said it)
- Have I ever told you that I love you? (Be careful!)
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend to Get Closer
If you’re looking to deepen the bond between you and your girlfriend, ask questions like these. They’ll help you connect and they’ll dissolve any resentment that may have formed between the two of you.
A quick tip: some girls like to open up and talk things out but some like to be alone when they’re upset. If you see that something is bothering her that’s unrelated to you and she says “nothing” (always a classic), push a little harder and see if she gives in to a chat. Most women will give in.
But if she says something like “I don’t want to talk right now, I just want to be alone”, don’t take it personally. Just assure her that you’re there for her if she feels like talking about it—then give her some space to work it out.
- What are some of the most important things in your life right now?
- Are you struggling with anything lately?
- Is there anything bothering you that you want to talk about?
- C’mon, what’s really bothering you? (If she says “nothing”)
- Did I do anything recently that hurt your feelings?
- You seem stressed. Is there something you need to talk about?
- If something was wrong between us, would you tell me?
- How was your day at work today?
- Have you been happy with life lately?
- How have you been feeling lately?
“What If” Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
What if questions are a fun way to get her imagination working. Here are five of our favorites:
- What if you could relive one day in your life? Which would it be and why?
- What if we only had one day left together? What would you want us to do?
- What if you had the power to read my mind? Would you use it for good or evil?
- What if you were offered $10 million dollars to break up with me? Would you take it? If not, is there an amount you would take?
- What if we were stranded on a desert island together? How do you think we’d fare?
Important Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Use these questions to establish a sense of direction for your relationship.
It’s important both of you are on the same page, and if you’re not, that you’re at least prepared to talk things out.
These questions can help set goals for your relationship and help you understand what her most important goals are.
- How do you see yourself in five years? What’s your job? Where do we live?
- What’s something we should do together that we haven’t done before?
- How important is having kids to you?
- What are the top three things on your bucket list?
- Do you have any experiences that have shaped how you view the future?
- What is your ultimate goal?
- Have you made any decisions that will shape the rest of your life?
- Where do you want to retire?
- What do you want in our relationship?
- What most concerns you about the future?
Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Another way to add depth to your relationship is to talk about deeper subjects. Existential questions are a great way to do this. These can make for heavy conversation, though, so you might want to ready yourself for it.
- What’s the biggest problem in the world? How could we fix it?
- Do you have any regrets in life?
- If you could see into the future one time, what would you want to see?
- What’s your deepest secret?
- Who comforts you the most?
- How do you want people to remember you?
- Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
- Do you think long distance can work? How far is too far?
- What would you give up to pursue your dreams?
- If you could change one thing in history, what would it be?
Serious Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
Serious questions are as significant as you could get with your girlfriend.
These aren’t questions to be taken lightly due to their sensitive nature. You have to be careful when you ask these because you could upset her by triggering a traumatic memory from her past.
On the positive side, if she’s open to discussing these topics with you, you’ll bond on a level that most people never get to in their lifetime.
- Have you ever felt the need to harm yourself?
- What memory has left the biggest impact on who you are?
- Would you sacrifice your life for someone?
- Has anything traumatic ever happened to you?
- Have you ever had an addiction?
- Have you ever had a near death encounter?
- Have you ever used hard drugs?
- What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
- How would you feel if something happened to me?
- Have you ever been cheated on?
What are Good Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text?
Texting is a lot different than an in-person conversation. An important thing to remember when talking to any girl over text is that she won’t be able to hear your conversational tone.
This means that if you say something jokingly or something serious, it could be misinterpreted by her because your tone of voice isn’t detectable through your phone.
One tip for texting a girl is to use emojis to soften the tone of your words. If you add a wink face or a smiley face to a text, you can communicate playfulness and an overall positive tone.
So keep chats lighthearted over text and save the deep chats and questions for when you’re in person together.
If you need to have a serious talk, let her know and wait until you can see each other in person so you can properly work out the problem.
Some great text questions for light banter and chatting include:
- How was your day?
- What did you do today?
- What are you up to?
- What was your favorite part about today?
- Did anything interesting happen at work today?
- What are you wearing?
- Are you excited to see me later?
- Are you excited about tomorrow’s date?
Do not ask heavy, serious questions like these unless you’re in person with her:
- Do you like spending time together?
- How do you think our relationship is going so far?
- What are your biggest fears and insecurities?
- Have you ever been cheated on before?
- Can we have a serious talk right now?
Strong relationships are built on a deep connection and understanding of each other’s goals and needs. The best way of gaining that understanding is through communication.
And some of your most comfortable and worthwhile chats can stem from a well-timed question. Try to avoid questions from this list, though.
So with all the questions set out here, you have plenty of ammunition now. Whether it’s to save, stabilize, or continue your relationship—it takes work.
Good luck. Be positive. Ask questions!
How do you know what questions to ask your girlfriend?
Relationship experts recommend that couples ask and talk about everything from their day-to-day lives to their hopes and dreams for the future.
One of the most important things is, to be honest, and open with your partner and to make time for regular conversations.
It will help you build a strong foundation for your relationship and ensure that you’re always on the same page. It’s essential for building a strong, lasting relationship.
Some good topics to get you started can include:
– Childhood memories
– Recent dates you’ve been on together
– Thoughts on current events
– Favorite new books or movies
By communicating openly and honestly with each other, you’ll help strengthen the bond between the both of you.
What should I talk about with my girlfriend?
The two of you should feel comfortable discussing any topic, no matter how personal or taboo. You should talk to your girlfriend about anything and everything that’s on your mind.
She’s there to listen, support, and comfort you and vice-versa.
A strong and healthy relationship is based on communication and mutual trust. So don’t be afraid to open up to her and share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
If you’re not sure what to talk about, then try discussing some of the following topics:
– Your goals and aspirations
– Your favorite memories together
– Things that make you laugh
– Things you like or want to change about your relationship
Be sure to listen attentively to what she has to say as well and show interest in her passions and pursuits. By creating an open dialogue, you’ll create a foundation of trust that will strengthen your relationship for years to come.