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How to date in college young guy and girl at college walking with backpacks and talking
 /  Dating

How to Date in College: Advice for Guys by a Dating Coach

Joshua Sigafus

Dating, Relationships

Joshua has 15 years of writing experience within the complex territories of dating, masculinity, and relationships. His own personal life journey was kick-started by a pivotal marital breakdown of his own and led him down a path of self-discovery and masculine transformation, culminating in him developing a career as a men's dating coach. Read full bio.

Published: Dec 1, 2023
9 min read
Key Takeaways

Focus on personal growth and balance dating with academic and social pursuits. Engage actively in the rich social environment of campus life, embracing both in-person interactions and the opportunities to meet diverse people. Respect, consent, and a healthy attitude towards relationships are paramount. Embrace casual dating experiences to understand what you truly seek in a partner, while also being open to more serious connections.

College is a challenging dating scenario for men. 

But it also holds a lot of promise and all the ingredients necessary to prepare you (from a dating perspective) for a confident, fulfilling, and deeply rewarding dating and relationship life with women not only during your college–age years but also in the years to follow. 

But it’s crucial that you approach it with the proper mindset

Unfortunately, I see far too many men waste this valuable dating opportunity sitting in their dorm rooms, playing video games, and ignoring the literal ‘ocean’ of beautiful women all around them on campus. 

And the truth is, as a man, this could be your first opportunity to set your dating life up for success in the future—through experience, learning, and positive experiences with beautiful women in your own age group. 

This is truly a ‘proving ground’ period of life for men. And the better you succeed with women in this phase of life, the better off you’ll be as you embark on a career journey after college, start a family, and move forward to create your own greater legacy as a man. 

So in this guide, I cut through the noise to discuss the most important strategies and tidbits of wisdom that will help you navigate your college dating life as a guy. 

Here’s what you need to know. 

6 Go-To Tips for Dating in College

1. Don’t Make Women The Focus Of Your Life

Dont Make Women The Focus Of Your Life

Focus on developing your interests and hobbies to become a more well-rounded person. 

Also, strike a delicate balance between academics and dating—not only to keep your grades up, but to keep from being seen as a man who’s ‘desperate to chase women.’ 

When interacting with women, aim to establish a rapport that’s not solely focused on ‘getting them into bed with you.’ 

Show genuine interest in getting to know them as individuals. This approach helps you come off as confident and self-assured, not desperate. Once a mutual interest is established, confidently ask her out

This balance between interest and self-assurance is key.

2. Stay Out Of Your Dorm Room

To successfully date, you need to be in social environments. Thus, it’s crucial to cultivate interests that get you out of your dorm and around people. 

This isn’t just about finding dates, but about enriching your college experience and building a network. Remember, your dorm room isn’t the place where most social interactions happen, so step out and explore.

3. Socialize, Socialize, Socialize

Building confidence and self-esteem is integral to successful dating. Spend time with diverse groups and learn to be someone others enjoy hanging out with. 

Strive to be the type of man who would make a good friend first, in the sense that you hold yourself confidently and don’t seem ‘too eager’ to get female attention. 

With that being said, romantic interests often develop naturally from these connections—and when they do, you should boldly pursue them by asking women out on dates with charm, wit, and enough social tact to not make the social settings awkward. 

Master the arts of flirting and making women laugh, and don’t shy away from confidently making moves on the women you desire.

This approach also allows you to meet a variety of people, increasing your chances of finding someone you truly connect with.

4. Maximize In-Person Approaches

Maximize In Person Approaches

While dating apps have their place, college offers a unique environment for in-person interactions. 

Practice engaging in face-to-face conversations and be observant of the opportunities around you. 

If you do use dating apps, use them sparingly. Real-life interactions often lead to more meaningful connections when you’re in college.

5. Look Good, Smell Good, And Be Fun and Interesting

Your appearance and hygiene speak volumes before you even say a word. 

Invest time into your grooming habits and cultivate a personal style that makes you feel confident. 

Work out at least three days per week. 

This effort not only makes a good first impression but also boosts your health and self-esteem. 

Just remember, being fun and interesting is as much about being a good listener and engaging in conversations as it is about how you present yourself physically. 

6. Take Rejection Like A Gentleman And Be Respectful

Take Rejection Like A Gentleman And Be Respectful

Rejection is an inevitable part of dating. Handle it with grace and understanding. 

Respect and consent should also always be considered non-negotiable; always honor the boundaries and wishes of the women you’re interacting with. 

A high-value man understands that mutual attraction and respect are the foundations of any worthwhile relationship. 

Pressure and disrespect are never attractive qualities.

5 Key Mistakes to Avoid

Key Mistakes to Avoid

1. Acting Desperate

Desperation is often clear in our behavior when it exists within us, and it’s definitely off-putting. 

Women notice it, and it’s NOT an attractive look. 

Focus on being self-assured and independent. 

Desperation can manifest as being overly eager or trying too hard to impress. It’s important to remember that confidence and a relaxed attitude are more attractive than desperate attempts to gain attention.

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2. Acting Too Clingy Too Soon

Clinginess can signal insecurity and a lack of self-sufficiency, which aren’t attractive traits. 

Give your romantic interest space to breathe and don’t overwhelm her with constant attention. 

Healthy relationships develop over time and require both parties to have their own lives and interests outside the relationship.

3. Pressuring or Pushing Women To Be Physical With You


Respect and consent cannot be overstated. 

Pressuring someone for physical intimacy is not only disrespectful but also can be harmful. 

Understand that every relationship moves at its own pace, and mutual consent is key. 

If you want to learn how to seduce women while also respecting their boundaries and not pressuring them to do anything they don’t want to, read this guide

Building a connection based on respect and understanding is far more rewarding than one based on pressure.

4. Shying Away from Possible Approaches Due to a Lack of Confidence

Lacking confidence can prevent you from meeting new people and experiencing potential romantic connections. 

Work on building your self-esteem through self-improvement and positive affirmations

Remember, everyone feels nervous at times, but taking small steps to engage with others can significantly boost your confidence.

5. Focusing on Women Instead of the College Experience as a Whole

While dating is an aspect of college life (and a fun one at that), it shouldn’t overshadow your overall experience. 

Academics, friendships, and personal growth are equally important. 

When you focus too much on dating, you risk missing out on other fulfilling aspects of college. 

You’ll also put yourself at risk of giving off some serious low-value, desperate, and non-masculine vibes.

(Remember, the evolutionary purpose of man is to generate resources, solve problems, and provide safety and security so that the tribe can survive and thrive. And it takes a certain degree of ‘deeper purpose’ to give off those masculine vibes.)

Living a balanced life and prioritizing your purpose are the keys to creating a well-rounded and enriching college experience—and women notice and are attracted to men who succeed at them


In closing, I’d like to leave you with one more piece of advice to keep at the forefront of your mind as you journey through your own college experience.

Embrace the moment. 

College is a unique time filled with opportunities for growth, learning, and forming meaningful connections. 

While planning for the future is important, don’t forget to live in the present and enjoy the experiences as they come. 

This approach will not only enrich your college years but also lay a strong foundation for your future relationships and life experiences. Cherish this time, for it’s a period of your life like no other.

Go with grace, gentlemen—and never give up your power. 

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Is it hard to date in college?

Dating in college can indeed be a complex experience, characterized by both challenges and opportunities. On the one hand, it can be difficult due to a variety of factors—namely:

  • Youth and inexperience
  • Competition

However, on the other hand, dating in college also presents unique advantages that can make it easier. Some of these include: 

  • Built-in social infrastructure
  • Common ground and proximity
  • Opportunities for growth

How common is dating in college?

Dating in college is quite common due to several factors:

  • Age and life stage
  • Social environment 
  • Independence and experimentation
  • Social networks 

While dating is common in college, the extent and seriousness of it can vary widely among students, influenced by individual preferences and campus culture.

What is something nobody tells you about dating in college?

That college should be a time for you to date many women and experience a lot of different dating opportunities. 

Some people get really wrapped up in getting a ‘serious girlfriend’ in college. But honestly, in the vast majority of cases, as a man, you’re going to have a much better experience (and derive a lot more value from it) if you focus on casually dating, and be open to dating more than one woman at a time. 

I call this ‘dating in the wild,’ and is exactly the strategy I teach in my premium Dating & Masculinity Transformation System.

That’s not to say that you won’t meet your future wife while dating in college. In fact, you might. 

And if you do meet an exceptional woman who wants to build a life with you, it may be in your best interest to move with her in that direction and to start dating exclusively once you’re ready. 

But your intent should be to start out dating a wide variety of women in a casual manner. Don’t get too ‘hung up’ on wanting commitment too soon in your college experience.