There was a time in my life when I had no idea what women did to get men to notice them.
Not only was I ignorant of female behavior, I was also a low value man.
In other words, no women were trying to get me to notice them. And even if they were, I wouldn’t have noticed it anyway.
But as I worked on becoming a better man, all of that changed.
And it changed even more when I started studying human mating behavior and learning how to date.
I started noticing that women were interested in me, and I started to pick-up on their ‘attraction displays.’
Just last week, I went to a chill local club downtown. I was already with a lady—but across the bar, this gorgeous beauty with dreadlocks and an eyebrow ring (i.e. my type) started stealing glances at me.
I noticed it and made eye contact.
For a good three-ish seconds, our eyes met—and she smiled at me.
I didn’t pursue it, because I was already on a date and didn’t want to be rude—but as a younger man, I never would have even picked up on this kind of signal.
Believe it or not, women absolutely display signs that they’re interested in being noticed and want men to approach them.
The bad news is that most men don’t understand these signs well enough to see them when they happen.
The Nature of the Female ‘Sexual Display’
David M. Buss describes it like this in his book The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating:
Attracting a committed or casual mate requires display. Just as weaverbirds display their nests and scorpionflies display their nuptial gifts, men and women must advertise their assets on the mating market.
A woman’s attraction tactics mostly center around making herself appear ‘reproductively valuable.’
Women seek to accomplish this by embodying behavioral and appearance cues (beauty cues) that signal the primary characteristics that men seek in women:
In other words, a woman will utilize these cues to make herself more noticeable to the men around her.
You might be thinking:
“Ok, awesome. But how the hell will I know when a woman is trying to get noticed? What should I look for?”
These are the golden questions, because men who understand both the signs and when to look for them will literally unlock the key to figuring out how to tell if a woman wants to be noticed, approached, and engaged by you.
And you’re about to learn the answers.
Note: In this post, we’re going to focus strictly on how to identify the intent to be noticed among women you don’t know and haven’t met yet.
13 Signs That a Girl Wants You to Notice Her
1. She Goes Out and Mingles
The fact that she’s going out-and-about is a great starting place for understanding her mindset.
Women get dressed up and go out to have fun with their girls, blow off some steam, and have a good time instead of sitting at home alone. But, most of the time, there’s also a deeper-set intention at work.
Women want to be noticed. Most of the time, when a girl gets dressed up and goes out on the town, she’s hoping for an opportunity for sparks to fly, and to enjoy the excitement of attraction.
One female Quora user said it perfectly:
Anybody who says that they don’t like being considered attractive sometimes is a societal exception at best, and a barefaced liar at worst. Like everything in life, it’s all relative. There are days when I put a lot of effort into my appearance or feel insecure, and I’m grateful for the self-esteem boost. My ultimate goal in taking care of my appearance is to hopefully attract someone that I, myself, find appealing.
2. She Does Her Makeup
According to David M. Buss and Cindy Meston in their book Why Women Have Sex:
Not surprisingly, women report using makeup to enhance their looks significantly more often than men (some men do wear makeup these days). Women are twice as likely as men to spend more than an hour per day on their appearance, and are 50 percent more likely than men to lie in the sun or sit under a tanning lamp to achieve a healthy-looking, albeit ultimately skin-damaging, glow.
They also go on to say this:
Although men are increasingly devoting money and effort to enhancing their sexual attractiveness, a tremendous imbalance remains—women spend nearly ten times as much on appearance-enhancement products as men do.
In other words, there’s a reason for why women wear makeup. And if that particular woman on your radar is ‘done up to the nines,’ there’s a significant chance she’s deploying a conscious strategy.
She wants to be noticed.
3. She Dresses to Appear ‘Sexy’ and ‘More Alluring’
I once went to this party where a bunch of young attractive men, women, and couples were drinking, dancing, and just in-general having a good time.
But this one woman in-particular caught my eye.
She was wearing a little black party dress that really showed off her legs, shoulders, and collar bones. Her red hair was curled and styled—and she was wearing deep, dark red lipstick.
She was by far the most done-up woman at the party. And as it turns out, there was a reason behind the prep-work. Later that night, after the party was winding down, we spent some fairly ‘intimate’ time together.
Why did she put so much effort into looking ‘sexy’ that night?
She told me later that she had planned to get noticed. It was literally a strategy—and it worked.
4. She ‘Does up’ Her Hair
Women put a great deal of thought into their hair if they want to be noticed.
They may style it, color it, curl it, and dress it in all kinds of different styles.
And according to science, there’s a good reason for this.
Healthy hair growth says a lot about a woman’s fertility.
Men notice it, and women know this. And so, women primp and preen to make sure that their hair is effectively displayed for all to see.
If she seems to care about how her hair looks, and is flipping it or touching it while stealing glances at you, that’s a good indication that somewhere deep inside, she’s desiring to be noticed by you.
5. She Shows off Her ‘Assets’
According to Cindy Meston and David M. Buss in the book Why Women Have Sex:
Women seeking casual sex partners are far more likely to sexualize their appearance, wearing tight outfits, low-cut blouses that reveal cleavge, shirts that expose bare shoulders or backs, and short skirts that show a lot of leg. Sexualizing appearance is a tactic that often works for women seeking sex partners.
If you see her out and about wearing a low-cut dress, a short skirt, or some other outfit that reveals her skin or shows off her ‘assets,’ there’s a good chance that she dressed that way with the intent to at least be noticed and admired.
And if you catch her looking at you more than once, that’s probably a sign that you’ve caught her eye and ought to engage her.
6. She Interacts with You
When you go out to the club, you’ll generally see two types of women.
There’ll be the quiet, reserved type who sits with their friends and doesn’t interact with anyone else.
And then there’ll be the type who’s constantly engaging with the people around her.
Now, here’s what you probably don’t know.
Odds are good that BOTH of these women want to be noticed.
But guess who’s usually more successful at it?
The answer is: The woman who’s constantly engaging with people around her.
I had a friend once who leveraged this to great effect.
For her birthday one year, she dressed up in a sparkling pink dress, a tiara, and a retro 80s fanny pack.
She also told me her plan.
“I’m going out with a friend, but we’re going to sit at separate ends of the bar, so that we look approachable. Then, I’m going to overcome my shyness and really talk to people. I’m hoping it’ll lead to something exciting.”
I heard later that she had a great time, and got noticed by all kinds of men.
Long story short, if she seems to want to interact with you—it may be because she wants you to notice her.
7. She Tries to Be the ‘Life of the Party’
I once hosted this party for a bunch of friends and acquaintances. A new girl showed up, whom I had only recently met, and she told me before the party that she was determined to find a guy to hook up with.
“I’m going to put myself out there.” She said with a mischievous smile. “I need to get laid.”
Sure enough, she got a bit tipsy and made herself the life of the party. She was dancing, laughing, flirting, and just in-general drawing a lot of attention to herself (in a fun, carefree sort of way).
Many of the guys hung around her and flirted—and one ‘lucky’ guy ended up taking her home with him.
It seems that her strategy to be noticed and engaged worked. She was the life of the party, and got most of the male attention.
To put it in simple terms—keep in mind that people do things for a reason. If a woman is acting in a very noticeable manner, don’t overthink it. She’s probably trying to get noticed.
And if she interacts directly and intentionally with you, there’s at least a good chance that she’s open to something more than talking.
8. She’s Quick to Flirt
Contrary to what many men may think, coming right out and saying “I’m interested in you. Are you interested in me?” isn’t the ‘style’ that most women prefer, especially not at first.
‘Flirting’ is the process that bridges this gap.
According to Steven W. Gangestad, an evolutionary psychologist:
Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction. Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then
Gangestad also said that flirting “Works much better to reveal this (attraction) and have it revealed to you in smaller doses. The flirting then becomes something that enhances attraction.”
In other words—if you’re out and about, and notice that a particular woman is acting ‘flirty’ with the men around her, there’s a very good chance that she’s interested in getting noticed.
This is a subtle, yet effective technique that sets the human mating dance into full swing—and women do it because it works.
If you introduce yourself and find that she directs those same tactics toward you, that’s a sign that you probably have a chance with her (as long as you play your cards right).
9. She’s Smiling and Upbeat
According to a scientific study, women are more attractive when they smile, and men are more attractive when they don’t.
But it doesn’t take science for women to pick up on this, either.
Women have been smiling at men for eons as a signal that they desire to be noticed and approached, and for good reason.
Smiling sends a very specific message.
“I’m youthful, I’m happy, I’m healthy, and I’m in the mood to be approached and engaged with, so come do it.”
If she’s smiling, upbeat, and acting positive, it may be a good sign to approach her.
If she continues acting in this manner toward you without acting like she needs to ‘get away’ from you, there’s a good chance that she’s interested.
Don’t overthink it. Flirt with her and make your move.
10. She Acts ‘Touchy-Feely’
Do you see her placing light, innocuous touches on the men she’s interacting with?
Or better yet, is she touching her own hair, neck, collar-bone, or arms?
Body language expert Traci Brown told Brides.com in an interview that touching is rarely accidental—and she’s right:
Always remember… there are few accidents when it comes to body language. If your date “accidentally” brushes your arm or leg, this is a way to reach out and touch you.
Women will also touch themselves, their hair, or an object within reach (like their drinking straw) if they’re shy or interested in someone, and desire to flirt or be noticed.
If you see a woman who seems to be intentionally using her hands to touch, caress, or fondle just about anything, odds are good that she has ‘touching’ on the mind, and wants to be noticed by the men in the room.
Take this as a cue to approach and engage with her. If she keeps up the behavior and seems to intentionally shift her focus toward you, that’s a good sign.
11. She Dances to the Music
According to an article by Jeremy Nicholson on Psychology Today, science shows us that women who dance to the music are more-often noticed and approached by men:
Particularly, women who were approached often smiled at men, danced by themselves, nodded at men, leaned toward them, or tilted their head (neck presentation) — while women who did not get approached performed none of those behaviors.
Men, don’t think that this is an accident. There’s almost always a reason for why women do what they do.
If she’s jamming out, nodding her head to the beat, or dancing solo on the dance floor while flipping her hair and acting flirtatious, she’s probably interested in being noticed and wants the men around her to take note.
Approach and engage with her. If she keeps dancing, but seems to draw close to you and/or shifts her focus onto you, there’s a good chance that she’s vibing and feeling something between you.
12. She’s Quick to ‘Roam Away’ from Her Friend Group
I once had a friend ask me if I wanted to go to the club with her. She told me that there was a ‘bouncer’ at this club whom she was really into, and she wanted me to go out with her so that she didn’t look desperate.
I agreed, and we went to the club.
For a little while, she stuck to me. But once she had downed a few drinks, she started ‘disappearing’ on me. I would find her roaming around near the bar talking to people, mostly on her way to-and-from the location where the ‘bouncer’ was posted.
See, the whole point of this was that she wanted this other guy to notice her. And so, she broke away from me (her friend group) to improve the odds of that happening.
This stands in stark contrast to women who stick closely to their friend group. These women are probably more interested in ‘hanging with the girls’ than they are in getting noticed by men (or they’re painfully introverted), while women who tend to ‘roam away’ periodically are generally more social and interested in being approached.
My advice? If she’s roaming around, find a reason to run into her (figuratively, not literally) and ask her a question. If she doesn’t act like she’s in a hurry to get away and rejoin her friends, she may be interested.
13. She Makes a Spectacle of Herself
I once went out to a nightclub and saw this girl dancing with a whole group of men. She was literally getting in the middle of their group, twerking, rubbing up on them—I mean, she was really putting herself out there.
As a result, she probably had more eyes on her than any other woman in the club.
She was so aggressively making a spectacle of herself that pretty much all of the men were not only noticing her, but trying to dance with her and talk to her.
Contrary to what some men may believe, this doesn’t happen by accident. This woman probably wanted to be noticed, so she made sure to draw attention to herself.
Take the hint, men. If she’s drawing attention to herself and making herself the ‘star’ of the show in a public setting, odds are good that she wants to be noticed and approached by high-value men.
Women like this are a two-edged sword, though. With so much competition, she’s highly unlikely to be interested in you unless you can successfully communicate that you’re a man of high value.
My advice? A woman like this doesn’t want a ‘nice guy.’ Here’s what you should do:
- Walk up to her
- Make sure that you’re maintaining a strong, masculine frame
- Introduce yourself and reach for her hand, as if to shake it in greeting
- Say something that’ll get her attention
“You’re quite the spectacle this evening. I think everyone in the club is looking at you.”
I like this kind of line in these types of circumstances because it’s innocent, but may also make her feel a bit self-conscious. That’ll offset the ‘high’ she’s riding from having all the men in the club ogling her, disrupt her rhythm, and really get her attention.
From there, you can engage, build a connection, and flirt with her to build rapport.
What to Do Next
So, you’ve found a woman who caught your eye.
After watching her for a moment, it seems that she wants you to notice her.
The only problem is that you haven’t talked to her yet.
Step 1: Overcome Your Approach Anxiety
Some men struggle with approaching women because they’re afraid of rejection.
But some men struggle with approach because doing so just plain and simple makes them nervous and uncomfortable.
As masculine men, we must overcome our approach anxiety, and garner the boldness required to approach the women we’re interested in.
There’s no shame in approaching women. In fact, as men, this is what we’re supposed to do.
Next time you go out, make yourself a quota.
Commit to approaching three different women and engaging them in conversation.
A little bit of practice really helps in overcoming this problem.
It’s called ‘exposure therapy,’ and it actually works.
Step 2: Learn to Watch for Signs of Interest
All of the signs we’ve discussed in this post could give you a clue about whether a woman may want you to notice her.
Keep an eye out for the subtle signs.
The better you get at reading women, the better you’ll get at walking into a room and assessing which women are trying to be noticed, and which ones notice you as well.
Figure out which women seem the most interested, and approach them first.
This may save you a bit of time and keep you from approaching women who have zero interest in being hit on.
But still, with that being said, don’t be afraid to approach the ‘unapproachable’ ones either.
Even if a woman isn’t trying to be noticed, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still shoot your shot and give it a try if she’s your favorite woman in the room.
Step 3: Practice, Practice, Practice
Here’s the thing, men.
But nothing is going to teach you more about women than interacting with real women in real life.
Get off the apps. Get out of your bedroom. Get out of your own head, and go out and meet some real-life women.
Go to clubs, bars, events, parties, concerts, or wherever you like to go.
Have a great time and pursue your purpose in life. But also, be aware of the women in the room, and don’t neglect the opportunity to approach the ones you’re interested in.
Practice truly makes perfect. You can’t learn how to win with women by sitting on the sidelines reading about it.
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand the signs that a girl wants you to notice her, and has also given you some basic steps to figure out what to do once you pick up on it.
At the end of the day, here’s the important thing to understand.
Women should never be the focus of your life as a man.
But, desiring women, sex, intimacy, and companionship isn’t just healthy—it’s also natural.
So as you make your way in the world and pursue your purpose as a man, don’t be afraid to look for the signs that a woman wants you to notice her, and to act upon those signs.
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Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.