/  Dating

How to Get a Girl to Like You: 23 Tips Every Guy Should Follow

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Joshua Sigafus Dating Coach & Writer   Updated: 
How to get a girl to like you Young Lovers with Guy Giving Girl a Piggy Back Ride

Back when I was first learning how to date again after the end of my 10-year marriage, it felt impossible to get any women to actually like me or display interest in me.

I felt truly invisible to the beautiful women I wanted to spend time with.

This led to me trying harder and harder to do things that would please the women I wanted to date. 

But this only seemed to push them further away. 

This was so confusing to me. 

Finally, I got to the point where I threw my hands up and just said:

“That’s it. I have to figure out why this is happening. I need to get to the bottom of how to solve this problem so that I can leave it behind and fix my dating life.”

This led to me going on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement that revolutionized the way I approached and conceptualized the dating process. 

I ended up learning so much about dating, attraction, and human mating behavior that I started coaching other men and women on how to improve their dating lives as well. 

I could fill volumes and volumes of books with what I’ve learned about how to get a girl to like you as a man. 

But in this blog post, I’ve condensed all the valuable data, science, principles, and strategies that I’ve learned over the course of my journey into a concise list of 23 tips—to give you the absolute most important essentials you need to know to get started today

These tips will help you to learn how to get a girl to like you according to real human mating behavior science—no nonsense included.

Let’s break it down and get started.

Most Men Misunderstand the True ‘Nature’ of the Problem

the key to attraction

The problem of how to get a girl to like you is actually a pretty confusing issue that most men mischaracterize. 

And this is why so many men go so wrong when they try to deploy solutions. 

The default reactive instinct for how to solve the problem is generally to try to do more things that women like. 

This is exactly what I tried in my dating life first—and of course, I fell flat on my face and failed miserably. 

And the reason for this is actually really simple. 

Women aren’t hardwired by nature to look for men who’re trying to please them. 

Women are hardwired to look for men who’re truly high value, effective, competent, and formidable. According to evolutionary human mating behavior standards.

So the next question is this. 

As a man, how can you broadcast these standards to organically and authentically increase your attraction in the eyes of the types of women you want to date?

This is the real question—and it actually has very little to do with doing things that please women. 

It actually has everything to do with your relationship with yourself, and how you develop yourself as a high-value man in the context of your own life. 

So I’m going to give you 23 tips to help you level up in that process, starting today. 

These are the things you can start doing right now that will instantly start to level up your attraction and make it more likely that girls will like you and want to spend time with you—instead of overlooking you and ignoring you.  

How to Make a Girl Like You: 23 Tips

1. Get Control of Your Life

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Start creating order in your life

Pay your bills on time. 

Make sure to show up to work. 

Start acting responsibly. 

Make sure that you see to the daily foundational infrastructures of your existence—to keep your life afloat and do what needs to be done to keep it from spiraling out of control. 

This increases your attraction by making you appear more competent as a man. 

2. Start Hitting the Gym

take care of your body

If your body isn’t toned, athletic, and muscular, you’re definitely going to lose some attraction points with women. 

Start hitting the gym.

Perform some aerobic, movement, and strength training exercises every day. 

Women are instinctually hardwired to be attracted to men with lean torsos and a V-taper physique.

You don’t have to be a bodybuilder. Just get healthy and start working on building lean muscle.  

3. Dial in Your Diet

Consuming a bunch of processed carbohydrates and refined sugars will cause you to gain weight, increase inflammation, and sabotage your overall health and wellness. 

Eat a clean diet of whole, healthy foods—and stop consuming alcohol, sugary drinks, soda, etc. 

4. Start Getting ‘Real Money’

Women are attracted to men who broadcast protector and provider traits. 

And guess what? 

You can’t be a capable provider in this modern day and age if you’re working a low hourly wage job. 

So work on developing a high-income skill to get you to six figures. 

Then, make plans to build assets (businesses or investments that earn money while you sleep), and start building your net worth. 

5. Find Your Purpose

Do you know what your purpose is?

As it turns out, women are instinctively driven to desire men who are mission and purpose-focused. 

If you make women the mission of your life, you’ll continue to broadcast low-value markers. 

Find your purpose and start prioritizing it in your life—and start making it the focus of your life instead of chasing women. 

6. Start Living with Intention

intentional life

Far too many men wake up and waste their lives on frivolous nonsense every day. 

They sink their valuable time into escapism. 

They watch shows, play games, and waste valuable years of their lives drinking, consuming drugs, and just in general not living with a purpose-driven mindset. 

So beginning today, start living with intention

One method for starting this process right now is to create a to-do list every day that brings you closer to achieving your long-term goals.

Women are much more likely to find intentional men attractive than men who just flutter around wasting valuable time.

7. Develop a Powerful Masculine Frame

masculine frame

Learn to set firm boundaries with anyone who comes into your circle.

Learn to be the type of man who operates with emotional strength, integrity, and wisdom in all situations. 

Learn to be the type of man who doesn’t get his feelings hurt over petty nonsense. 

Become tough as nails, and fully capable of taking care of the people closest to you.

The men who live with this mindset are going to broadcast much higher value attraction signals than men who try to live with a victim-oriented or highly emotionally-reactive mindset. 

As a man, it’s crucial that you choose rationality over emotional reaction on a daily basis.  

8. Level up Your Inner Confidence

I often say that self-esteem is an underutilized alpha male superpower in life.

Men must develop their own inner confidence so that they can accomplish their work and purpose without doubting themselves.

Women are highly evolved mate selectors, and they’ve literally adapted to smell weakness and fear in men like a shark smells blood in the water.

As a man, you can’t afford to not develop massive inner confidence for yourself. 

This is crucial not only for success with women, but also for success in life.

9. Dress for Success

Mugsy lightwash bootcut jean

Simply put—high-value women are going to be looking for men who’ve learned to dress like successful adults.

Spend some time upgrading your wardrobe

Find a style that works well for you, and work on refining it over time.

The below looks is my go-to never fail date outfit. The black (or dark) polo (like this one from Collars & Co.) tucked into light dress pants. You’ll stand out and look like you know how to dress maturely without looking like you’re going over the top.

Throw a sweater or jacket over the polo in cooler weather to take it to another level again.

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10. Groom Yourself

Geologie on sink counter using everyday face wash

Personal hygiene and grooming are absolutely essential if you want to broadcast high-value attraction markers as a man.

Listen—learning how to smell good, take care of your skin, take care of your teeth,

maintain your body hair, and keep yourself trimmed and attractive are all crucial tenets of masculinity that all too often get overlooked by men in the modern world.

Make sure that you’re putting time and energy every week into leveling these things up. 

This is crucial. 

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11. Stop Looking to Women for Validation

The natural paradigm of the masculine and the feminine is this: 

Women should be looking for emotional validation in their male partners, and men should be strong enough to provide that validation without needing it in return. 

This is an often overlooked signal that you’re a strong, capable, masculine man who doesn’t need women to validate him. 

Men who require emotional validation from their female partners are going to be perceived as weak by women—pure and simple. 

Learn to validate yourself so much that you become the one who women look to for validation, instead of the other way around.

Speaking of that…

12. Start Being ‘The Validator’ 

As you meet women, interface with them, flirt with them, and date them, learn to not only eliminate the need for those women to validate you—but to also constantly communicate to them that you’re confident enough to provide them with the validation they’re seeking instead. 

Women love to be validated by strong, effective, attractive men. 

But if they detect that a man is looking to them for validation, it’s going to be an instant turnoff.

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13. Become a Strong Leader

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Nature designed women to be drawn to strong leaders with the capability of leading the tribe and family to success and victory. 

Have you developed yourself as a strong, capable leader in your own life? 

The truth of the matter is that 99.9% of men know almost nothing about how to be strong leaders for a group of people—much less for their family, or even for their girlfriend. 

Start leveling up in this vital masculine attraction area by reading the book Extreme Ownership, by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. 

Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
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14. Stop Making Excuses

Attractive men DON’T make excuses. 

They find solutions and deploy them to fix the problems.

To learn more about how to become this type of man, consider reading Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, by David Goggins. 

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15. Stop Complaining

Attractive men also don’t waste their time, words, or energy complaining or whining about their life.

When they realize that something is going wrong, they make a plan to fix the problem. 

If you’re a man who complains a lot, try making yourself a rule to stop complaining. 

Instead, try making a list of things you’re grateful for in your life. Then get back to work and stay on the grind. 

16. Stop Acting like a Victim

Do you often blame your family, your ex, the government, or your boss for your hardships and problems in life?

If so, the women around you are probably picking up on these ‘victim mentality’ signals. 

And guess what? 

This is a major turnoff. 

Girls don’t like victims—pure and simple. 

They like strong, capable men who know how to overcome challenges and win in life.

17. Talk to the Women You’re Interested In

Beautiful Woman Sitting at Bar Drinking Cocktail

A lot of men are afraid of beautiful women because they’re afraid of being rejected by them. 

This is understandable. 

But it also contributes to making you less attractive. 

Think about it. 

What kind of beautiful woman is going to be attracted to a guy who’s afraid of approaching her

Start developing your ability to approach beautiful women boldly, confidently, and successfully. 

Sure, you may get rejected sometimes. 

But that’s okay—because developing that inner confidence is a crucial part of increasing your attraction as a man.

18. Stop Trying to Impress Girls

Woman stepping on a man with a red high heel

Listen—as a man, your focus should never be on impressing the women you’re interested in.

Instead, your focus should always be on becoming a man of value and excellence—and then, on vetting the women around you to see if they’re worthy of you

But in order to make this real, you actually need to level up as a man. 

You must become such a high-value version of yourself that you actually increase your sexual marketplace value beyond the caliber of women you want to date. 

You can’t fake it. 

This needs to be real. 

And the only way to make it real is by working on yourself every single day in all of the steps you’re reading about in this guide.

This is the type of man women are actually dying to date and sleep with.

By contrast, women are actually repulsed by men who’re trying to impress them. 

Why?

Because a man only cares about impressing women if he’s low in mate value and trying to pretend like he’s not. 

19. Become the ‘One Who Evaluates’

As you continue to increase your value and attraction as a man, a natural byproduct of that process will be that you’ll start increasing your standards for the types of women you want in your life. 

This will cause you to evaluate and vet women more carefully. 

And this is actually something that will make you more attractive as well. 

Women don’t want a man who’ll settle for anything he can get. 

Women don’t want desperate, needy men.

Women want men who’re so high in mate value that they won’t settle for less than what they actually desire. 

20. Increase Your Competency

Women aren’t attracted to men who stand around and don’t know what to do in difficult situations. 

By contrast, they highly desire effective, competent men who know how to handle themselves in a wide range of difficult life circumstances.

Become the type of man who’s capable of handling difficult situations whenever they arise. 

This will make women much more likely to want, respect, and desire you. 

21. Stop Being So Agreeable

Though it may seem tempting to want to be a ‘yes man’ when it comes to women, being too agreeable actually really works against you. 

The goal isn’t to try to be disagreeable just for the heck of it. The goal is to be the type of man who always has a plan of action and prioritizes his mission first, and who always draws healthy boundaries with the people in his circle.

This type of man is going to be seen as being more worthy of respect by women. And respect is an absolutely necessary precursor to attraction. 

Check out the book No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life, by Robert Glover, to learn more about how to become this type of man. 

No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life

Dr. Robert Glover is a certified marriage and family therapist and also a former "nice guy." In his book, he describes what he calls "Nice Guy Syndrome" and why it's so damaging to a man's life and all of his relationships. Inside, you'll learn how to stop seeking approval from others and start getting what YOU want out of life, male friendships, and relationships with women.

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22. Prioritize Your Mission and Purpose over Everything Else

As a man, it’s crucial that you make your mission in life the number one priority. 

A lot of men get this twisted, and end up spending far too much time chasing women, validation, and being ‘likable’ to other people. 

But men who choose this path betray themselves with low-value attraction markers. 

Instead of chasing validation in other people, display and broadcast true masculine power to the women in your circle by always focusing first and foremost on your mission and purpose in life. 

23. Start Meeting More Women and Broadcasting Your Value Signals

Attractive Woman Painting in Art Studio

How to get a girl to like you is actually a deceptively misguided question. 

The question should be something closer to this:

“How many women will I need to meet every week in order to find enough women who want and desire me for my high-value masculine attributes to achieve dating and sexual abundance for myself?” 

See, as men, we should constantly be working on our dating funnel—and we should always be focused on bringing new women into our frame

The masculine method of dating isn’t to chase one girl we like and to try to get her to like us. Rather, it’s to open our dating funnels and invite women to join us

Then, we find women who actually want to date us—and we choose our favorite(s) from among them to date, mate, and pair-bond with. 

Conclusion

To wrap up, I’d like to leave you with a summary to help bring it all back to square one:

Always seek first to be a high-value, successful man of purpose. This will make you more attractive—and the more successful you become at this, the more likely beautiful women will want to join you in your life adventure.  

This is truly the ‘missing puzzle piece’ that a lot of men are missing out on. And the sooner you deploy this solution in your life, the sooner you’ll realize that dating can actually be a wonderful adventure instead of a depressing, sad, lonely disappointment in life. 

If you want to fast-track your results with women, be sure to check out my eBook, Get the Women You Want: Decoding Female Attraction. 

Get the Women You Want: Decoding Female Attraction

In this 98 page PDF eBook, you'll learn to ‘decode’ female attraction and understand the formula you need to apply to become the ‘attractive playboy’ that women actually pursue, crave, and desire. Joshua K. Sigafus takes you back to his formative years as a teenager, where he documents his experiences with his best friend, Garen—a natural lady’s man—and contrasts this with his own adolescent dating woes.

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Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.